44 days and counting

I will make light weight for the next NAGA.

I'm 5'9 and my training partner is 5'4. At the November NAGA she was easily the biggest girl in her class. ... and I dwarf her. (And I say biggest, but she is tiny.) I was aching to grapple the little twigs she got to fight. lol

I have 44 days to drop 15 pounds. I put on a few pounds over Christmas because I trained less, and had to eat three Christmas dinners. ... And for the love of all that is holy, if you put cheese and crackers out on a tray, I will eat them... all.

Anyway, I lost 8 pounds for De la Riva and it wasn't too hard, and I did that in 16 days.

This time I have to lose a little more, but I have much longer to do it. ... and I will do it.

Rawr!

The only thing I am unsure of is where I should try and maintain. I think I was looking a little bony at 140. I can pretty much eat what I want (except for epic amounts of cheese trays) and stay at 145... but that means I will be going up and down 10 pounds between competitions. But I guess as long as I keep myself healthy while I do it, it shouldn't matter that much.

Maybe between the Feb, and June NAGAs I will just let my body do what it wants and see where I even out. I've never been as low as 135 as an adult and there are no major food holidays between those NAGAs, so maybe I won't get back up to 145... I plan to compete every 3 months provided everything works out. I'm sure I will miss a few. It takes a lot of planning to go away for a weekend when you have two small children.

Hello, my name is Stephanie. I have boobs and I grapple.

Hello Blog.

In the past six weeks I have:

-Competed in NAGA. I totally flopped my gi fight, but in my defense, the girl who ate my face for dinner did win first in both adult and masters gi... and I placed second in no-gi.

-Taken a few private lessons. My school puts white belts with everyone from day one. So, I am able to roll with blue, purple and brown belts (and sometimes black belts) on a regular basis. I love that and I think it has helped me to have a slightly better grappling game then someone who only ever rolls with other crappy white belts, (I learned a lot from "Omg, what did you just do to me." and a lot of my grapples turn in to little 5 minute tutorials.) but some of the fairly basic things get over looked. An hour spent one on one with someone going over the very basics has been so beyond helpful, I can't even begin to explain.

-Injured my wrist. Nothing major, but with the next NAGA in 45 days (Yes, I am counting.) I have been trying hard to help it heal. Thankfully, it is my left wrist, which is my retarded side, and I only ever notice it when I post out on that side, or when I go for gi chokes.

So... to the point of my blog.

I have boobs... I still have them in spite of my best efforts to paste them down to my body when I go to class. …. (And it’s not like I even have big boobs….)

My boobs were an issue when I started Jiujitsu... at least they were for me. I didn't want to put them on anyone, or in anyone’s face. I eventually got over that... but for some reason I am starting to worry about it again... but only when I roll with certain people. I don’t even know why. It’s not like I am attracted to them… I could at least understand that, but no… It’s just a few random guys… and it is REALLY annoying! It has nothing at all to do with their behavior, no one has been inappropriate or anything like that. I just get uncomfortable and weirded out which sends my game straight down the gutter…. and there is nothing I can do about it. It’s even worse when they point out that I am not keeping pressure on them. I just mutter “Oh right”… and cringe as I lower myself on to them. I look like and imbecile… I’ve been grappling for four months. I should know to keep pressure by now. I can’t exactly explain that I was purposefully keeping my chest off of their’s without coming off like a complete and total creep… or making it sound like I think they are the creep. And the last thing I would want to do is ask not to grapple them. I A. do not want to complain, and B. do not want my instructors to get the wrong impression and think they had done something to make me uncomfortable….

And it’s not like I can even feel anything through my two bras, underarmor and gi.

I don’t even know. … but yes, I do feel a little better now that I have talked to myself a little about it. lol

Warning! Random Blog Incoming

I need to buy another gi. I go to class 4-6 times a week, and since I can't put my gi in the dryer, I almost always have a semi-damp gi... and I refuse to go to class stinky. Not that it would be dry if I didn't wash it, and I am pretty sure everyone would prefer semi-damp clean gi to semi-damp with sweat gi. I'm going to get another one for Christmas. Why can't CatFightGear.com have a black gi?!

NAGA is this weekend! *insert panicked face here* When I was two weeks into Jiu-jitsu, I decided I was going to compete, and now it is time. I can't believe I've only been doing this for 3.5 months! It feels like so much longer... and what the heck did I do with my time before I had Jiu-jitsu. I am so excited for this! I had a great time at De la Riva in spite of the fact that I didn't have the best luck with my refs, and had a gigantic woman who was a terrible sport I had to fight twice. Not to mention the fact that I am getting out of the house for an entire weekend. Don't get me wrong, my kids are my life, and I would be nothing without them... but I have never been away from them over night since Micah was born.... and he is 5.

On your way to your first competition with Fabio, they tie you to someone else who is going for the first time, and you have to make the entire trip tied to someone else. Bathroom breaks and all... and let me tell you how glad I am to have another female teammate coming.

UFC 105 is also this weekend! I hope there is a sports bar somewhere near the university where NAGA is being held.

I have been trying to gain 5 pounds for this competition. It's weird, and it's giving me a complex. For the past year I've been trying to get into better shape... and for the past 2 weeks I had been dieting hard core to drop for De la Riva. I knew my body wouldn't let me drop 5 more in two weeks for NAGA, so I decided to gain back some of the weight I lost for De la Riva. I don't actually want to be at 140. I don't think I can maintain it and stay healthy, so I do want to get back up to 145-150 ish... but it just feels weird. I've got weight loss so ingrained into my brain that weight gain feels just.... wrong.

I'm so excited about NAGA I am already starting to pack, and my boots do not fit into my suitcase.

I think I am going to cut my hair. Last night it got in my way twice... and so help me, if I get submitted because my pony tail gets suck under my back, or someone's elbow I might just shave my head on the spot... and that would not be pretty.

Three days until we leave for NAGA!

Private Lesson!

Best thing ever.

I learned SOO much, and was so nice to repeat the same thing over and over on someone who knows what they are doing, and can point out what I am doing wrong when I mess up. It is also nice that my instructor is a big guy and could stay upright when I jumped up on him over and over.

We went over the clench, pulling guard, jumping guard, and then what to do, and where to grab when we get on to the mat. We also did some basic take down technique, but I think I am a guard pulling kind of girl... at least at this point I am, and honestly it seems to work for me, so I have no real reason to try to change it up. I saw a lot of people just pull guard at De la Riva, so I don't think it's something I shouldn't be doing.

I WISH I could afford another one before NAGA, but between two competitions in one month, and one being one I have to travel and stay over night for, on top of the two schools I pay for... it's just not going to happen.

Friday the 13th.

I'm not superstitious. However, but after the morning I just had, I might just change my mind.

I woke up this morning to find tiny shards of glass in my bed. We have tile floor, and Zaile did shatter a cup yesterday, so I assume little shards stuck to the bottom of my feet, and ended up in bed with me... and one in my leg. Yay.

Then while geting ready for to go grocery shopping, Zaile painted herself, the area rug and couch with an entire tube of toothpaste. Again... Yay....

On the way to the store, Zaile had an epic melt down in the car because I didn't being a bink with us. (Which by the way cemented my resolve on weaning her of those blasted things! ..I am going to wait until after NAGA though.)

At the store Micah accidently knocked several jars of jelly on to the floor, shattering them.

And on the way home, a semi-truck tried to merge into my lane onto me forcing me to careen in to the median at 60 miles an hour. I laid on my horn, and then the semi swerved back into his lane, nearly flipping his truck and load all over the road. I was nearly hysterical, but Micah and Zaile seemed to think the it was hilarious.

Thank God we made it home safely... and safely at home is where I shall remain for the rest of the day.

Oh, and one other thing... My willpower failed me for the first time in months, and I ate a donut. Never walk through a bakery in the morning hungry. It's actually okay though... I decided to gain, not lose. .. but after months of dieting, eating that donut felt like betrayal.

Pass that Guard!

We worked guard passes tonight. Yay for that. My epically horrible guard pass got me triangled this weekend.

The stupid thing is though, that I already knew that guard pass! We have done it once if not twice before in class. It is an easy, effective guard pass that will not land your head square between some ones thighs. Fabio has two branches of his school. I am visiting the other one tonight, and I hope we work the same guard pass. I need to get it ingrained into my brain so I can just do it with out thinking. This week is Jiu-jitsu heaven for me. I am going to class 6 times, and getting a private. Hopefully my brain will retain at least a little of what I learn, and my body can execute it while I grapple... and maybe eventually I can get to the point where I have what PP calls muscle memory.

Gain or Lose?!

I lost 7 pounds in the last two weeks or De la Riva, and it was for absolutely nothing. I ended up fighting a 208 pound woman.

Now, I am thinking about NAGA.

The weight classes for women are 134.9 and under, and 135 and over. I am at 140 right now.

I do not want to go to NAGA at 140.

Should I drop 5 more, or gain 5 more?

I have 11 days to do which ever I decide.

At 140 my BMI is 21.1

135 BMI is 20.4

145 BMI is 21.9

All within normal.

Ugh! I don't know what I should do!

More De la Riva Photos...

The Fabio Novaes BJJ Team

Fabio and I

Mario, Ben, me and Paul - The rest of my instructors.

Allie Phil and I - My little BJJ family! I love you guys!

Me and Philly

Me and Allie

Things I learned at De La Riva:

210 pound women can in fact do Jiujitsu. I went in thinking I wouldn’t have to fight women much bigger then I am… but I was wrong.

Philip Richardson is the worst camera man.

I need to work on take downs.

Competitions are not as scary as I made them out to be.

Bring extra batteries for the camera, and extra tapes for the camcorder.

Don’t let go of your submission until the ref says so… even if you think the match is over.

I also learned I am not just a squishy mommy, and I really do have the best instructors ever!

------

My first fight was against a girl who has 68 pounds on me, and almost two years more experience.Our match was 10 points to 10, and the ref gave me the advantage, and called the match with me as the winner. The girl, and her corner disagreed with the calling, and they decided to do a one minute over time. In the over time, I got the girls back, and was going for a rear naked, but since there were two matches going on, and they called the other match, we both thought thewere calling ours and I let go. At that point, they should have restarted us on the ground with me on her back, but they stood us back up, and she took me down and got the points and ended up winning the match. I was a little disappointed, I felt like I should probably should have won, but I ended up taking third instead of second. Honestly though, I don’t care. I held my own against a girl with almost 70 pounds on me, more experience, who also happened to be married to a black belt who runs his own school. I was proud of myself for that fight.

My second fight was no-gi against a girl named Tanya, who was exactly my same weight. She has been doing Jiujitsu for about 8 months and also kick-boxes. She was really good, and very nice. I got her in a guillotine from standing, and jumped guard, but she was able to escape, and ended up getting me in a triangle. I thought it was a pretty good match, and I lost to her fair and square. I’d like to run into her at another competition some day. I liked fighting her, and would love to do it again in the future…. Even if she triangles me again. =)

I ended up fighting the big girl again, I have no idea what her name was because she never said a word to me, and she got me in an arm bar. I could have defended it, but I let her take it, planning to roll out of it so I could get out from under her. I could NOT roll her off of me, or hip out enough to get out. I mean, she got my arm, I didn’t give it to her, but once she had it, I let her take it. In my first match against her she got my arm, and I rolled out and got her back. I was hoping to do the same thing in no-gi, but the ref stopped the match while I was rolling out of the arm bar. So, I lost and ended up 4^th for no-gi. They stop matches for kids once they land a submission, but they should not have done that for an adult match. Either way… I’m not ashamed of myself for my performance. I’ve been doing this for three months, and that girl was huge!

I am really glad I went though; I learned a lot had a blast and it was great to get in a competition before NAGA.

The day was more emotional than I expected. It was more stressful watching my friends fight then it was to fight myself, and it bothered me more to see a teammate lose then it did to lose my own matches… and I had to watch a lot more matches then I fought.

Fabio Novaes Brazilian Jiujitsu!!!!

Here are some pictures from my first match. My camera died after this one, so I only have video of the rest.

I'm in the blue gi.

I'm offically registered!

I just got home from weighing in. It was nice and degrading just like I thought it would be. Before I left, Allie, Phil and I weighed our selves. When we got there Allie and Phil weighed in before I did, and both of them were two pounds heavier then they were on Allie's scale. On Allie's scale I was 1.3 pounds under where I needed to be.

I about panicked. But instead of weighing in, in my clothes, I had on, I stripped down to my very small under things, took out my hair ties, and clips and got on the scale, to avoid the shame of weighing in twice. Now, I would have been okay with this except for the fact I was stripping down in front of about 6 men who were all just staring at me, waiting for me ot get on the scale.

Thankfully, I ended up on the scale at 141.8 and I needed to be under 144.9. Phew!

I found out there is one other beginner female who is almost exactly my weight, so that was a relief. I didn't want to have no one to fight, and I also didn't want to end up fighting some tiny twig and feel like a gigantic amazonian douche bag for picking on someone half my size. ... And of course I did not want to have to fight some tree trunk of a woman either... While I may end up having to do that anyway, I do know there will be at least ONE fight with someone of my same skill level, and size. That is the girl I want to beat.

I also found out there is no womens absolute, but oh well.

Anyway, I need to hit the store, pick up some snacks for tomorrow and then get in bed before 11 for tomorrow... I fight!

WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!

So, I got mad for the first time...

I've been frustrated many times on the mat... but never mad. I take that back, I have gotten mad at my self, but never mad at someone else... but tonight... I got angry. It was kind of strange, and I snapped out of it pretty quickly... but I didn't like it. I really hope it's not something I start doing... esp not in class with my teammates.... Though, really I wouldn't have gotten mad in the first place if everyone had been being a team player. I'm a girl.. I'm not as strong as you are.. I get it, you don't have to prove it.

Lemme hear it for the big girls! lol

Last night there was a girl at Fabio’s who was bigger than I am.. Or at least, she felt bigger than me. She was heavier, but I don't know about height. It is hard to tell how big someone is when we are sitting on the mat. Anyhow, the few girls I am able to grapple on a regular basis are considerably smaller then I am... as in almost an entire foot shorter. So every time I go with someone larger, it’s a guy who can pretzel me with ease. It was nice to finally roll with a girl who is bigger, and not get handled like a naughty two year old.

The girl I grappled has been doing Jiujits for about two years she said, but not seriously... on and off, and I was able to hold my own against her, and submit her a few times. It was a nice boost of confidence before the tournament this weekend. Normally, I am just getting my butt handed to me repeatedly, and I feel like a complete newb after class. I have class again tonight, and Wednesday, so I am sure my sails will be deflated again before the weekend, but either way, it was nice to finally roll with a bigger girl. I am less worried about it now...not that I was really that concerned with finding another gigantic female grappler. hehe But with my long list of things I am panicking over, it's nice to check one off.

Four more days!

I am just a glutton for punishment I guess... I am really nervous about this competition, but I want nothing more then to do it. I need to remember I've only been doing this for a few months. I am a crappy little Jiujitsunista... I need to accept that, and be okay with it. =)

I am just going to do my best... and if I get beaten, I get beaten... .... and I will not cry! lol

Finally!!

I need to be under 144.9

I am 144.0 this morning.

Wooohoooo!!

Now I just have to maintain for 5 days. I don't have to worry about dehydrating... or spitting.. Thank goodness. I don't think I am capable of spitting with out getting it on myself.. and I really didn't want to spend a day trying to spit, and end up changing my shirt 15 times.

And now that my paranoia about my weight is over.... I can already feel the nerves setting in. ... and I'm thinking about how I have done one whole take down ever. One. My second one will be in my first competition.

Honestly though, my biggest fear is disappointing my instructors. I don't want to let them down.

And on a semi-related side note..... Sometimes being tall sucks! lol

Evil

If you know me... You know I am generally a fan of evil. I always root for the villains... I have a little crush on Darth Vader and I fan girl when Sylar starts popping skulls off. It's weird...I know... I can't help it, but I have come to terms with it, and so should you.

However, today I found a form of evil that I do not like

Pure unadulterated evil... Asking me to go get you deep fried spicy mushrooms when I still have a pound to lose before the weekend.

Deep fried mushrooms are my kryptonite. I only eat them every once in a blue moon, but they are my favorite... possibly even more so then chocolate and almonds... but only because I eat them so rarely.

Being the glutton for punishment tha I am... I went and got them...

Resistance if futile my foot.

I just wanted to say...

I love my instructors. I really, really do. They are all amazing.

De La Riva!

There is a small tournament here in 18 days. I think it will be good practice for NAGA, so I am going to do it.

And I am going to attempt to drop 4.9 pounds. I am not going to kill myself over it, but if I don't I am in the 145 and over weight class... whereas losing the weight I will be in the 130-144.9. I wouldn't mind being the bottom of my weight class if there was a cut off weight, but I really don't want to go against some gigantic woman.

I will have to put it right back on for Naga though, because at 145 I will be near the bottom of my weight class.

Rawr!

I love Saturday mornings!

I have class... and class again on Monday and Tuesday! ... Then I have to wait three days... and I get sad! lol

I wish I could stagger my classes a little better. Maybe trade Monday for Wednesday, but alas... Either way, it makes for a nice beginning of the week.

Today we learned another guard pass. Ben called it the "can opener". It pretty much seems a sure fire way it get your knee in, but then again, I was practicing with someone who was only on their second class... so I don't how easy it would have been with someone who knew what they were doing... and something tells me it may not be the best guard pass ever because I'm two months in, and I have never seen anyone even try and do it. I'm still going to try it a few times in a grapple to see how it goes.

One thing I have really been trying to work on the past few classes is staying calm while grappling, and taking a few seconds to catch my breath if I feel like I am getting too worked up. I hope I can make a habit out of doing that, and work it in to my game with out thinking about it too much. It does seem to be helping... I don't feel like dead weight at the end of class.

It is 4 am...

And I am still awake. Why? Because I had a really crappy night of Jiu-jitsu and I can't shut my brain up about it long enough to let myself fall asleep.

Ugh. I don't even know why I let it bother me so much. Well, that is a lie, I know why it bothers me so much. But... I know myself well enough to know that I shouldn't blog this tired, so I'm just going to end the blog I never should have started in the first place... My giddy sleepy ramblings are bad enough, I don't need angry sleepy blogs too.

I got to grapple Ben!

Tonight I got to grapple my instructor Ben, for the first time in about 5 weeks. The difference between Ben, and say another student who is a blue belt is like a mountain and a mole hill. He moves SO much, and so fast, and so fluidly... it's just insane. I can do nothing against that man except try and move under him... he even started with his back to me. lol I think I got half a hook in.. maybe. It is great movement practice though, and he does things that you just don't see... or feel in a normal grapple.

And tonight Ben made us grapple for 6 minutes instead of 5 and didn't tell us until afterward. I didn't even notice. Yay for that.... and we did 6 back to back grapples, which is more then we normally do. I am just glad that tonight was the night I decided to try and pace my breathing, and remain calm when I grappled. lol Other wise I would have been a limp noodle by the end of class.

And I hate Tuesday nights... I go to classes on Monday, Tuesday and then Saturday. The wait from Tuesday to Saturday kills me every time!

I really want to get a private lesson sometime soon. I think I might do it this Thursday. I really just want to sit down with someone who knows what the heck they are talking about and pick their brain... ask them all the weird random questions I have, and get some advice on take downs.

I also just want to roll with someone who good, and then ask them what I need to work on most. I grapple a lot with Allie and Phil during the week, but we are all pretty much on the same basic level, so it is hard to tell where exactly I suck the most.

And on a random side note, it is really hard to tell someone who knows nothing about Jiu-jitsu a story about jiu-jitsu. I tried to tell a friend about my hole in the wall incident, and the response was basically this...

" ...... .... I have no idea what you just said."

Wow

Last night was a great night.

Two girls came to class for the first time. They were both adults, like Allie and I are. And it really made me feel good about my progress.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am NOT talking trash about these two girls... We all start somewhere, but they were pretty terrible, and I know I was just as bad, if not worse when I started.... and seeing someone else just starting out made me realize just how much progress I have made. I know I am still a crappy white belt, but I can at least see positive proof that I am if nothing making progress. Woohoo!

Other highlights:

I got to use an arm drag on someone who has at least 80 pounds on me, and it worked. I got his back! Woohoo! Thanks Mario!

I also to grapple Brian., my former instructor. lol He can still pretzel me with one arm and both legs tied behind his back.. as I expected, but he said he could tell I was making progress...and it was fun to roll with him... he does crazy gymnastics when he grapples. It's confusing, and intimidating, but he is super nice, so it makes me laugh instead of frustrating me. =)

And I put a hole in the wall. This isn't so much a highlight as it is just something that happened, and made me laugh. The wall is riddled with holes, and everyone blames Paul for them all... he claims they are not all his handy work, but now I know at least one of the holes isn't Paul's doing. Then when he saw the hole, he said his only problem with the hole was the placement. LOL! Had I being doing the triangle escape properly the hole would have been much lower.

I freaking love Jiu-jitsu!

It hurts so good...?

My entire left side is gimped. My shoulder, rib, knee, elbow and one of my toes are all jacked up. My snake bite is on my left hand too, but I can’t blame that one on Jiu-jitsu. It seems bizarre to me that I’ve injured myself more times in the past 5 weeks then I have in the past 5 years. I know exactly what is hurting me, yet I keep doing it…. happily. Quitting Jiu-jitsu hasn’t even crossed my mind. This morning when I thought my rib was broken I was thinking of ways I could still go to Naga… it seems wrong. Where is sense of self preservation? Lol

Anyway, my rib is just bruised. My doctor thinks it is just deep tissue damage, or possibly some stretched ligaments… I will take anything other than broken. He told me not to grapple for 10 days, and to let my body be my guide. So, I will attempt to not grapple. I think I am going to make myself wear jeans to Jiu-jitsu so I won’t be tempted. Though, I will still go… I always notice things when I watch other people grapple, and I still want to see what Mario/Fabio have to teach us... just because I can’t do doesn’t mean I can’t watch.

Maybe I can shut my mouth after all...

I haven't bloged in like two weeks! Stephanie shut her mouth! No, no, pigs aren't flying.. .at least I don't think they are.

Anyway!

Jiu-jitsu has been awesome the past couple of classes. I am still craptastical with my submissions, but Mario has told me a few times that I am getting better... and I don't think he would lie to me. He also taught me a SWEET arm drag. He said it could really be my bread and butter if I get it down. So, I am going to work on it. It's just not something I have a lot of volunteers for.

Also Naga is exactly two months away. I get a little panicked when I think about it, so I won't.... I am really excited, and just as nervous. Oh man, I am so going to barf. I can feel it. I don’t do nerves well. I do not expect to place, or even win my first fight. Don’t get me wrong, I want to do well, but I don’t expect much. I expect to have fun, I expect to enjoy the experience, and I expect to learn.

On that note… I am off to Disney for a few days! See you when I get back!

Monday, Monday, Monday!

I am going to talk to Fabio and see if I can work something out with him where I only go on Mondays.

I can swing it going one day, and also go to Mario's.

*insert girly squeel*

I had so much fun tonight!!

Fabio did not kill me with his eyeballs on sight. lol He was SO nice, as was everyone else there. They roll SO much there. 6 times at least. I sat out twice, but oh my gosh I was dead weight at the end of class. 20 minutes of grappling.. lol It's hard work.

I can't wait for class tomorrow!

Tonight, I see the top of the mountain.

Tonight, we are going to visit the school where our Jiu-jitsu instructors go. I’ll get to meet Fabio. I almost expect to be submitted by him just looking at me. Mario, Ben and Brian all speak so highly of him. My brain fails to comprehend that kind of awesome. I am awed by those guys, and can’t imagine someone they would look up to.

I am really excited to see some real Jiu-jitsu though. Not that I’m not taught real Jiu-jitsu, I mean I am excited to see two people who know what they are doing go at it. My instructors have shown us a move or two, but not an all out grapple. I am going to bring popcorn.

Children can read minds, and they use their powers to plot against us.

Last night I decided I was going to start getting more sleep. (See Below)

So, I got into bed at 11:30.... and was woken up at 1 am. Braden woke up. I went in to check on him... He was fine, so I put him back in his bed. He kept crying... I check again. Check clothes, check diaper look for any booboos... Nothing. He is fine. So I put him back in bed. Still crying. I knew he wasn't hungry, he'd eaten three.. yes, three pieces of pizza for dinner. He ate more than I did, and I was not hungry.. and I outweigh him by 120 pounds. lol So, I calm him down, and put him back to bed..... More crying. I just let him cry it out. I knew nothing was wrong, and going in there 20 more times would only keep him up longer. So, at around 2 am, he gives one last high pitched wail, and then gave up. That last high pitched wail.... woke Zaile up. Zaile was happy to be up, like she always is if she is waken up at night, because I just take her into my bed and let her fall back to sleep on her own. The only problem with this last night was the fact that Micah asked to sleep with me last night. He has been a little starved for attention lately, so I said yes... and when I brought Zaile into bed, she saw him.... and "Micah!!" .... And then Micah was awake. Finally at around 3 they went back to sleep. And sleeping between a 4 year old and a 2 year old isn't the most comfortable thing ever. I was pretty much woken up every hour if not more often… and Tada! 7 am is here, and Braden is awake.

So much for a good night’s sleep.

I just need to work on.....

I have been eating right, and working out every day for about a month.

Now, I need to get more sleep. I have ALWAYS deprived myself of sleep. Always. I am used to it, and I can go on 5-6 hours of sleep a night, so I do. But I am going to work hard at getting at least 8, at least a few times a week. I am going to start getting in bed at 11:30.

9/09/09 - Date Win

So - For the past week or two I have been driving myself insane. I've been overly conscious of what people think of me. Normally I don’t give two craps what people think of me, so it’s been an interesting week. And I don’t mean that I don’t care what people think.. I do care how people think, and feel… I just don’t tend to care if people judge me. I mean, I’m not living my life for anyone but God and my family… so if Joe-shmoe thinks my hair is offensive, or that my boots are weird… I don’t care. But all last week, I was hyper aware of everything… My nail polish…Should I take it off?... Should I not wear these flip flops because they have pink on them? … What will people think if I wear this? …. I was driving myself… and poor Allie insane. Allie in her infinite wisdom said she thought it was because lately I have been working losing weight, and I’ve been hyper aware of my body and what it looks like… I for the first time in my life I really truly care what I look like to myself, I was worrying about what everyone else was thinking too…. And I so don’t have to.

On my way to a meeting that I was stressing about, I called Allie. She told me to pray about it after we got off the phone.. so I did. And I am already feeling better about it. Granted, it could just be that all the things that were stressing me out are over… lol… but I do have to do something Friday that was really causing my brain to malfunction, and I am not worried about it anymore… at all.

So, all that is good and nice, but the weird thing was… This morning Youtube had a suggested video for me… and it seems kind of random as I do not listen to or watch other videos like it on Youtube.

My Suggested Video:(It's the song... not the video.. lol)

Here is my gi.

Next time I will try to make a scary face. lol

Today I found out that I will not have to fight Allie at the Naga championship. You have NO idea how happy this makes me. It eased SO much unspoken tension. lol Today we rolled, and it was easily out best one yet. No tension, no competitiveness. It was great. And there is no more thinking… “Should I tell her this?” “Should I show her that?” She is no longer my competition. She is my partner. It makes me so happy!

NAGA!! (Facebook note)

There is going to be a Naga tournament in Florida this November, and I am going to compete. I am completely terrified, but really excited. They have a division for women who have been training for less than 6 months, and by the time November comes around I will have 4 months of Jiu-jitsu under my white belt. hehe If Allie and I go together we can get a family discount, and it would actually be cheaper for us to compete in both gi, and no-gi then just one division. So, that is the plan as of right now.

I spoke with my instructor Mario about it, and he said if we go, he will come too. I really think it is awesome that he would come to support us, (I think he might compete too..) but it makes me a little nervous. I’d want to do him proud…and if I can’t manage that I’d like to at least not embarrass him.

So, my plan is:

Run a mile without stopping. I’ve never actually tried before last night. (I can almost do it..) I used to do high intensity interval training, but that is a lot of stopping and going for 30 minutes. I want to just go the whole mile. I walk four miles every night, and I can easily break it down into a warm up - one mile run – one mile walk – one mile run, and then cool down. My goal is to do that, and be alive when I make it back to my door step.

Keep up with yoga. I started 2 weeks ago, and did the full 50 minutes last night for the first time. I want to do it every day. My goal is to be able to lay my hands flat on the floor with my knees straight. I know it’s a weird goal, but I want to be able to do that. hehe

Those are semi-unrelated to Jiu-jitsu, but they will help me get into better shape, and I would like to lose 5 pounds so I don’t have to worry about spilling into a higher weight class with my gi on. Last night I weighed myself with my gi, and I was literally half a pound into the next weight class. Not that I think weight classes are going to actually matter so much for the women’s divisions. Mario said to expect them to combine the weight classes… but on the off chance they don’t, I don’t want to be going up against giants because of half a pound…though, I am kind of a giant myself.

My Jiu-jitsu game plan is:

Class twice a week, and at least twice a week Allie and I are going to get together and grapple. If I can work it out, I might start taking some extra classes in November. Though, that is a big fat maybe. If I still have my niece and nephew living with me I will go broke paying for a baby sitter 5 times a week on top of paying for two schools. But I really would like to work it out, because I need to work on my submissions. That is where I am weakest. I know I am getting better at moving… I am by no means good, but I know I am terrible at submissions. Maybe I am missing some sort of aggressive gene, or it just goes against my nature to try and bend someone’s arm off. I take care of people, not injure them. lol It’s probably just that I suck, but whatever it is, I need to get better at submissions.

There are also a couple of solo drills I am going to run every day.

I think if I do all of these things, I will not get owned by some 110 pound tween in my first fight.

I really have no earthly idea why I am SO excited about Jiu-jitsu, but I am. It is what is keeping me sane right now. I’ve been under an incredible amount emotional stress the past few months, and I have been able to burn some of that off with Jiu-jitsu. So, it’s a double win.

I was talking to my friend Dain about the tournament, and this is what he said… (I hope you don’t mind me quoting you, I just laughed SO hard.)

“I'm sure you'll do well in at naga btw
Even if they do combine, eff blue belts they are weak.
They know just enough to not be sure and not enough to be awesome at it
Where as you are the VIOLENT NEWB DEATH MACHINE
You kung fu your face off with awesome ignorance of technique, overpowering your opponent with awkward attack after awkward and unpredictable attack!
HIYAH!”

I love you, Dain! hahah

While I don’t agree with the blue belt comment, blue belts would eat my face for dinner. I do know that I can be a spastic white belt.. and I want to work on not being one. lol

Thus ends my overly long ramble about NAGA. If you read all the way through, I am sorry you wasted your time… lol But you can expect more of the same in the future. You are warned. Next time you waste your time reading my notes; it will be your own fault. =)

Wounded

Frustration.

Sometimes Jiu-jitsu is just frustrating. I have to not let it get to me. Tonight grappling I got really frustrated… and I’m not even sure why. I was able to snap out of it pretty quickly, but still... I hate when I get like that. I think some of it has to do with my left hand. I cannot use it properly. I think I am going to make a doctor’s appointment. Allie thinks I might have a fang lodged in my finger somewhere digging into a nerve. Whatever it is it hurts, and I have to get it taken care of. But I am just going to do what I can do in the mean time, and try not to let my frustration get the best of me.

Other than that tonight I ran.. or mostly ran a full mile. I had literally just eaten, so I didn’t really choose the best time to do it, but I still did it. lol and I did not throw up! Yay. Then we grappled… see frustration above… and then did the full 53 minutes of yoga! I’ve never been able to finish the video but tonight I did. Wooohoooo! So, all around good night minus the 15 or so minutes of stankatude from frustration. Sorry Allie and Phil!

I stole this from Mike.

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

My gi is here!

I ordered it three weeks ago... and in that time, my Jiu-jitsu partner who ordered hers after me got two. Way to fail me Canadian post. If you have read any of my previous ramblings you may have seen my rant about my incorrectly sized body for gis. I am tall, and long… and I lack bulk. So, if the gis that will fitmy length were off by about 20 pounds… and in light of the weight I have lost, it is now about 30 pounds off. It is also very, very stiff.. and since it is slightly too big, the collar stabs me in the neck….it feels like a choke. That’s right… I am so not amazing at Jiu-jitsu my gi can tap me.

It is in the wash as I type.

Patches, we have a problem.

So, I found that awesome Super Mario patch, and everyone from church who does Jiu-jitsu got one too... We were going to all put them on our Gis and represent Mario. (and hope we aren’t an embarrassing representation of him.) Last night we mentioned it, and he seems to think it is a bad idea. Or at least that the higher ranking belts from his other school would give him a hard time over it. I am sad. LOL I really like Mario and want to put a patch on my gi in his honor…. But I guess I will have to put one on my bag instead!

I think I’ve gotten really lucky as far as Jiu-jitsu falling into my lap, and landing some awesome teachers.

Allie got hassled into going by some of the kids from her youth group, and she didn’t want to go alone so she talked me into going… and let me tell you how quickly I would have said no if I had ANY idea what Jiu-jitsu actually was. But I went, and loved it… and 99% of the reason I liked it so much was because of Brian. He made me feel completely comfortable, and made it Jiu-jitsu fun. (Hot sweaty no personal space fun?!) If it hadn’t been for him I would have never even considered going back… He has a new job and a lot on his plate right now, so he can’t continue teaching us. *insert sad face here* The guy who replaced him, Ben scared the pants off me the first day he came… as in .. “This man could kill me where I stand and I am not so sure that he won’t do it.” Though, it’s been a few weeks and I’ve gotten to know him better he is really nice and scares me less. Still scary.. just less scary. But he is REALLY good, and I know he has a lot to teach us.

Then of course there is Mario. I really like Mario, he is awesome. Though, like Ben the first time I met him... terror. lol I couldn’t be more comfortable with him now though. He is great… and always smells clean. LOL I wish I could say that about the rest of the class! Some of those boys smell… well, not good….they don’t smell good at all.