Warning. Big fat cry baby post.

I've been back to Fabio's since last year... as in since just prior to New Years, but I've trained three times.

Three.

I can't go to class tonight.  I couldn't grapple last week because of the ring worm.  I was sick the week before that.  By the time my sorry behind is back on the mats it will be an entire month between the the last two times I've grappled.

It is starting to REALLY bother me.

If I am being completely honest, sometimes I feel like it's not even worth it.  I know I'm going to progress at a snails pace as it is, and with my husband hectic schedule I am missing classes left and right. 

I know it isn't that big of a deal, and I am just frustrated so I am making it out to be worse than it is, but I already struggle with feeling behind and slow because of the hiatus I took, training once a week makes the feeling of falling behind and never progressing even worse.... (Even though in my head, I KNOW it isn't a race, and there is no falling behind in Jiu-jitsu.) and not being able to train for a month at a time is just compounding that feeling.  Heck, I don't think I've grappled two consecutive Monday's in the eight weeks that I have been back.  On top of all of that, it doesn't make sense to pay to train, when I can't actually train.

Punch me in the mouth.

I know I am just throwing myself a pity party, and I am sure I will happily run back to class when ever I am actually able to make it there, but as of right now I feel like I need to just put a pin in it until I know I am able to go with any real consistency.

The silver lining still sucks when the rain cloud is no BJJ.

Silver lining....

All of my little nagging bumps and bruises have all healed, and my finger and and toe nails once again look like they belong to a female.  I also have significantly less laundry to do, as I do not have to wash and dry my gi every single day.

...  but I am still counting the days.