Does BJJ really work for women?

A couple of months ago, I went to class.  Fabio has several classes most days, and I generally only go at night since I home school my kids, but every now and then I go to morning classes or afternoon classes. 

That day I went to a class I have only gone to a couple of times, and was approached by one of the newer guys, and he said, "I know you teach a women's class, and if you don't mind I want to watch you grapple today.  I have a wife and daughter, and I want them to learn BJJ too, but I don't understand how this will work for a woman.  No offense, but I don't understand how you could overpower a man."  ... or something to that effect.  

He was in no way being rude, or condescending, just honest.  And being that he is new, and had never grappled a woman, it's a legitimate concern.  

I however went into, oh my gosh, how I grapple today is going to form this man's opinion of ALL OF WOMEN'S BJJ EVERYWHERE FOREVER! panic mode. 

I immediately scanned the room.

No girls.

Mostly white belts.
Big ones.

More Panic.

Big white belt men generally give me the most 'trouble'.  When a guy uses just brute force and no technique I really have to work.  Technique is the only thing that I have to combat brute force.... and when you can mush my guard open with just your arms.  Ugh.

I have said before, that I don't grapple to win, I grapple to grapple.  But that morning, with the fate of all of women's BJJ in my hands, I started every grapple with the intent to prove to the world, or you know, just that one guy, that BJJ works for women too.  

And being that I am the instructor of a women's class, I felt extra compelled to prove myself, not just prove that BJJ works for women.

My first grapple was an older teenage boy, and I was so nervous I was starting to question whether or not I could take this kid.  So, I started to psych myself up, more so than when I am competing in the finals for gold.

The resulting grapple was probably a little more unpleasant for that innocent man-boy than it should have been.

I should probably have felt bad that I unleashed on that kid, but I didn't.  I smiled, thanked him for the grapple and walked back to the wall without making eye contact with the guy I knew was watching.  I wanted to look like I wasn't even trying, or that it didn't matter.

But in my head I was jumping up and down, See it works! It works!  Send your wife and daughter to my class!

But in reality, I just beat up a kid.  Oopsie.
(In my defense however, we go there to grapple, not hug, and I grappled him with my sanity in tact, I just took every opportunity I could to put him in a bad spot and submit him.  I unnecessarily unleashed my inner Leonidas on him.  But he went on to grapple another day unscathed.)

Next grapple.

Another white belt... but this was white belt with man strength.  A big giant man, with man strength.

I went straight back in to, omg, can I do this mode.

Turns out, I was worried for nothing.

Every grapple that morning I was able to remain dominate and submit my partner.  Except the grapple in which I grappled a 230 pound purple belt man.  I am pretty sure that grapple looked similar to this..


My last grapple of the morning was with the man in question.  I was not expecting to grapple him.  I had been feeling pretty confident, and proud of my self for repping BJJ decently for women everywhere. (Because, clearly that was what was going on.  lol)

He was very nice and complimentary though.  He said, he had watched me grapple all morning and was impressed, and he was pretty sure I was about to beat him up.

And I went into that grapple with every intent to show him just how effective BJJ was for women.  Or at least, as as effectively as I could.  There are plenty of other women who could prove that point SOO much better than I can.

Anyway, I submitted him several times, and afterward he seemed legitimately happy.  He said he was now excited for his daughter and wife to train, and how grappling me was completely different that anyone else he had ever grappled.  He said, no matter what he did he could shake me off, or get a decent hold on me.  And that made him happier about training BJJ in general because it does in fact work.


The point of all of that, was not to talk about how I beat up boys, or pat myself on the back, but to let anyone else who might be wondering, if BJJ is effective for women, it is.

That experience made me more confident in myself, and happier about teaching BJJ to other women. I hadn't ever really grappled a man with the intent to subdue him, or at least that had never consciously been my goal.

All of that being said, I want to add that I have been training BJJ for 3.5 years, and I believe it will take a couple of years for your average woman to be able to subdue and submit your average untrained man.  But, BJJ can be live savingly effective as early as six months into training.  Escapes and defense come first in the line of skills sets you find with BJJ.  And I always, always, always tell my girls, if God forbid, they were to find themselves in a situation where they have to fight for their lives, to fight to escape, not fight to win.  Get them off of you and get away.  And BJJ can absolutely teach you how to do that.

So.

Recap.

BJJ works for women.

The end!

The closest thing I'll ever have to actual minions....

Since my ad in the Lakeland Ledger has yielded poor results, I have taken up the post as the Women's Class instructor.  It's not really the same thing as minions for world domination, but hey, close enough.  I'm not picky.

To be totally honest though, the thought of taking over the class was nauseating at best.  Due to circumstances outside her control our previous instructor, Allie had to step down.  So, I was asked to take over or let the women's class dissolve.  And after a year and a half of training with these ladies, I couldn't bear the thought of ending the class... So, I took over, fairly certain that I was not qualified to teach, and sure the girls would slowly stop coming.

I kept thinking of all the glaring holes in my own game.... Envisioning bring up a team with the same gaping holes I have... all the girls unable to manage take downs, and no one ever successfully sweeping from bottom half guard.  Ever.

And my very first class as solo instructor, my worst fear was faced, and as it turned out, it wasn't so bad.

The worst part of my game is EASILY takedowns.  I know all of two that I walk someone through easily enough but give me a resisting body and I'll likely fall down in the attempt.  And I am not joking about that either, my second competition I was determined to take someone down, so I tried... and fell down. (I did manage to recover and win that match though.  So at least there was that.) 

My first class was the last class before a competition, so I asked the girls what they wanted to go over... Takedowns.  Of course.  So, I tried not to throw up in my mouth, and got to walking them through take downs, and then had them work take down drills... and low and behold, knowledge was gained and takedowns happened.

I realized I knew more then I thought, and could impart BJJ how to, to others.  Something that I never really appreciated how difficult would be. Using words to explain how to swivel or switch a hip was harder than I thought.

But six weeks into teaching, I am starting to enjoy it.  One of the ladies recently had a major epiphany one class, and we both felt like this kid.

Not to mention, I think it is making me better as well.  I have to think of every step of every move to make sure I relay the proper information.  Not to mention having to troubleshoot with the girls when they hit a block.  It makes me think and find answers.

However, as good as the class is going, it doesn't undo the fact that I still have major holes in my game.  So, I've asked some of the guys who excel the things I ruin horrifically to come to class and teach those things for me.  This is a double win.  I think it is beneficial to the girls to have a different instructor with a different point of view from time to time, but it is awesome for me too, because basically I am having tailor made classes that help me where I am weakest.

And thankfully, I have a awesome team that has been very willing to help me when I ask.  So, thanks guys!!

BJJ hair for Women III

I've blogged before about how I wear when I grapple, and how I went from having waist length hair to almost almost no hair at all over the course of my training, and how BJJ is brutal on hair.  You have to wash it constantly, and it gets pulled out, ripped and damaged pretty much the whole time you are grappling.

And while I have found the best way to keep MY hair our of my face and from getting stuck under people's butts and knees (Though its getting long, so I am going to have to figure something else out.) I hadn't yet figured out how to keep my hair from looking and feeling like I abuse it.

On top of abusing my hair in BJJ, I also abuse my hair off the mat.  I have curly awful unruly hair, and if I don't want to look like I am in a constant state of bedhead, I have to straighten my hair every time I wash it, and I bleach and recolor my hair every 4-6 weeks.  I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who is as mean to their hair as I am.

And after four years I have finally found a shampoo and conditioner that actually makes my hair feel and look less damaged than it is.   Honestly, I don't know if it actually does repair my hair, but it certainly feels like it does.  Plus, it smells good.

John Frieda Full Repair shampoo and conditioner is amazing.  

Soap Box: Mean Girls

I am going to soap box today... Sorry.  Girl-Jitsu, LLC posted an article recently.  It was submitted by a reader, and does not reflect the opinion of Girl-Jitsu... that being said, the article touched on essentially my biggest pet peeve in BJJ.  Women who are condescending and mean to the other girls on their team. 

That. Is. Bullshit.  

It is hard enough to be a woman on the mat without the few other women bullying you and making you feel unwelcome.

I think we as women are taught from a young age to compare ourselves to other women.  Am I prettier? Am I smarter? Are my shoes cuter?  If no, then point out all the things that make you better than that girl.  Not to mention how we are basically shown what we need to look and act like by society, and God forbid we fall short of what we are very clearly told what is good enough and what isn't.  

That in and of itself is crap as well, but I won't go off on that tangent.

When it comes to BJJ, we as women have to make ourselves VERY vulnerable to train.  We have to put our heart, soul, sweat and tears into our training... in a room full of men who are climbing all over us, and kicking our asses.  Literally.

It is hard.  It can suck a very large amount.  But I feel like BJJ is the common ground we all as women need.  It is the great equalizer.  We can, should, and need to put all the petty female rivalry we were born into behind us.  Use BJJ to help lift each other up for a change.  Support each other.  Be there for each other.  

BJJ has changed my life in such a dramatic astounding way, and brings me so much joy and happiness I want more than anything to share that with the other people, and especially the women in my life.  I want everyone to have access to the wonderful world of BJJ.  I would never in a million years try to squeeze someone out because I didn't like her, was jealous, or because I didn't like her personality. 

BJJ is so more than that.  

So, stop it.  Stop being mean.  Stop being condescending.  Just stop.  Appreciate each other for what you are.  Thank them for being there for you to train with.  They are walking down a similar arduous path.  BJJ is hard... and while their journey may be different than yours, know they too, have similar struggles.  Other women are going to be the only ones who know what it's like to be smaller and weaker than a man.  It is a frustrating thing to always be weaker, and capable of being overpowered   Most men won't know what it's like.  They won't understand when it makes you cry... But your female teammate will.  You can be immensely powerful tools to each other, but just as just as immensely defeating.  Don't be that girl.

I am not saying you have to be BFFs with every girl that walks in the door, but while you share the mat with them, treat them them the way you would want someone to treat your sister, or your daughter or your mom.

Mission Accomplished!

This weekend Fabio Novaes BJJ took the NAGA Pan Ams by storm.

No seriously.  By storm.

This was far and away the biggest turn out we have had for a competition.

(We are missing four girls in this picture.)

We had more female competitors at this tournament then we had total for the Miami Open, most of them were competing for their first time, and every single one of our girls placed!  I am beyond proud of them, and not just because they all did well, but because they had the courage to get out there and do it.

This tournament was awesome.  Everyone who competed has been busting their asses for the past couple of months getting ready for it, and everyone had their hard work rewarded on the mat, not to mention the fact that because everyone pushed themselves so hard in their training, it benefited the team as a whole.  We are all better grapplers now then we would be if we didn't have this tournament to drive everyone forward.

Nicely done, Team Fabio Novaes!

   

And not to neglect the ever so slightly less pretty side of the team:

Thank you for all that you do Fabio and Roberta!!

Miami Open Results

I competed in the 2012 Miami Open this weekend, and much like last year I had a great time.  However, this year I took home gold instead of bronze... But more importantly, I got to see a lot of the other female grapplers in Florida.  SO many talented BJJ girls in Florida! It makes me happy.

I am also happy with my performance.  I set goals for myself and accomplished every single one.

I wanted to try a take down... I did, and I succeeded.  I didn't fall down like the last time I tried to take someone down.  hahaha  Yay for that!

And as I have mentioned before my biggest general failing in jiu-jitsu is that I don't go for and let go of submissions too easily.  So, I set out to be aggressive with my attacks and finish my submissions.  And I did exactly that.  It was a nice bonus that I finished my match with an armbar, because for the longest time I was horrible at armbars in general.  Progress!

The other lady in my division came all the way from California with her husband just to compete and she was a fantastic sport.  I love meeting other grappling moms especially when they are really friendly like she was.  Mad props to her.

Allie also competed  and not surprisingly won her division as well.  Allie is a tiny little blonde monster that will ruin your day... and she proves it over and over in competitions.

The ONLY regret I have is not being able to stay for absolute, but it was out of my control... so it is what it is!  Next time for sure!

 Gold medals for the McClish girls! Bear traps be trappin!

This was the woman in my division.  Wonderful person! 

FloridaFighter.com got some pretty cool shots of my armbar: