Perma-Funk

My favorite gi has a permanent funk.

I wash my gi after every class, and if I can't wash it right away, I pull it out of my bag as soon as I get home and hang it up so it can air out, and not fester.  I will admit there have been a few times I forget and it sits in my gym bag over night... but generally I am on it with the whole clean gi thing.

Anyway - when I wash it now, it smells good.  I can jam my face right in the arm pit and take a huge wiff and only smell Tropical Passion.  However, the second.. and I mean the very second sweat comes in contact with the arm pit of my gi it smells like sweaty death.

I am fairly certain this guy lives in the pits of my gi and activates like a gremlin after a post-midnight snack when I sweat. 

I've tried everything to rid my gi of this funk, but have had no luck.

This morning I found something that pleases me... and I feel might just do the trick.

Help me Fabreze Sport.  You're my only hope! 

I'll keep you posted.  

Look at what you did to the back of my head!!

This is the back of my hair line, right behind my ear.  

You did this.  Yes, you over there... you that didn't wash your gi.  You really should wash it you know... more than like once a month.  It's super disgusting.  It offends my nose as well as the back of my neck.  I know Fabio washes the mats... I get there early.  I see him clean it before every single class.  So, I know it has to be you and your gross gi.  You may have waited to grapple until your ringworm was gone, but since you failed to wash you gi, it was all for nothing. 

Maybe you don't know when you should wash your gi, so I will break it down for you....

Have you or someone you have recently grappled had ringworm?  If yes, you should wash your gi.

Have you or someone you have recently grappled had a staph infection?  If yes, you should wash your gi.

Does your gi smell like feet?  If yes, you should wash your gi.

Does your gi smell like butt?  If yes, you should wash your gi.

Does your gi smell like rancid body oder?  If yes, you should wash your gi.

Can you see a clear outline of your butt, knees and elbows in filth on your gi?  If yes, you should wash your gi

Does your gi smell like anything other than something clean?  If yes, you should wash your gi.

Does your gi get up and move around once you have taken it off and thrown it on the floor or stuffed it in the trunk of your car?  If yes, you should wash your gi.

Is your gi a horrid shade of yellow when it should be white?  If yes, you should wash your gi.

Have you worn your gi ONE or more times on the mat?  If yes, you should wash your gi.

Has your gi been on the floor or mat ONE or more times?  If yes, you should wash your gi.

You should wash your gi  every single time you grapple in it. 

The End.

And btw, if you answered yes to the first two questions, you should also wash your sheets and all of the towels you've recently used in hot water.