Flesh eating chicken!

I've mentioned before that I have several chickens.  I love fresh eggs, and from time to time, I enjoy a fresh chicken.  Yes, I do it all myself.  No, I don't know how I can be so heartless and actually kill the food I eat, so don't ask.  =)

Today my chickens (sort of) exacted their revenge.

Every morning when I feed my chickens, they run up to me, and stand very impatiently around me waiting for me to feed them.  Some mornings, they peck at my toe nails, I assume, because they think they are something yummy to eat.  They are not, and it kind of tickles.

Last night, I went for a run, and got a super fancy blister.  It was one of those really great ones, that you get AND pop on the same run, so it burns with the fire of a thousand suns.

Kind of like this

This is not my busted foot.  I repeat NOT my foot.  

(Also, I would advise against using the Google image search to look for pictures of blisters.  I almost threw up.)

The blister it self is probably around a seven on this scale.

(I shamelessly stole this image from http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.)

When I got home, I screamed and flailed like a child while I washed it, an then left it uncovered so it would dry out a little, and I could cut away the tremendously sensitive skin that was hanging off the back of my foot.  I wanted to avoid being one of those people who grapple with little pieces of skin hanging off their body.  Yum.

I forgot about the blister when I went outside this morning, and it apparently looked tasty.

I can not even begin to explain to you the pain of a rooster pecking me DIRECTLY in the open blister, then trying to rip the piece of skin off my foot.

If you would again view the chart above the pain was very much too serious for numbers.

This is Marcellus Wallace, the guilty rooster.  He is my favorite chicken, and will never be on the menu... even if he continues to try and eat me while I am still alive.

He is my super awesome dive bombing, razor sharp beak having, does not look like a bitch, top of the pecking order, rooster.  And now I can add flesh eating to his list of accomplishments. Fear him.  Seriously, fear him.  It really hurt when he pecked me in the blister.  I screamed. Loud.

How to kill Zombies!

Like many bloggers I keep track of how many hits my blog gets, and how people find it.   And like many other bloggers have done I am going to go over some of the more interesting and popular searches...

"Ringworm" - I am sure that is a result of my rage inducing case of ringworm, and that one time I thought I had ringworm and did not. ~ How to Cure Ringworm (One in search variation in particular that I liked was, 'angry ringworm'.  I feel you buddy.)

"Jiujitsunita" - Seems like a pretty obvious one.  You found the right place.

"Cauliflower Ear" - Why people want to purposefully do this to themselves is beyond me.  I have gone over this before, people.  Don't do it.  Your mother will thank you.  ~ How not to look like an idiot.

"Fabio Novaes" - This one comes up a lot in may variations... Fabio Novaes Lakeland, Fabio Novaes BJJ.  Fabio Novaes is the most amazing BJJ instructor ever to walk the planet...  Yeah, that last one came up the most.  lol  But really, in my opinion he is...  ~ Fabio Novaes Brazilian Jiu-jitsu

"Rage Face" - Perhaps you were looking for this? ...

"I totaled my car and it was my fault" - Me too friend, me too... Not fun.

"Six guys and one girl"  - No.. Just no.

"How to tie my long hair up everyday fat face" - I never did find a way to get my hair out of my face and still hide the face fatness.  If you figure it out, let me know.  lol  This may help though... ~ Find the right hair style for your face

"BJJ hair for women" - This one comes up a lot in various forms.  Check out Meg's blog, she has a great record of BJJ hair for women. ~ MegJitsu - BJJ Hair for Women

But the greatest of these... 

"How to kill Zombies" - The fact that my blog came up via this search pleases me to no end.  The only thing is, I don't know why my blog came up with this search.  Maybe I have given this instruction in some form or another.  In which case, disregard the information you've found.  I have an excellent zombie apocalypse plan, but I have not openly shared this plan with anyone.  The only other thing I can assume is that maybe Google thinks Brazilian Jiu-jitsu is a great way to kill zombies... but anyone who knows anything about Zombies would know that BJJ would be a terrible way to kill a zombie.  

Firstly,grappling would SURELY get you bitten, and then you would just be another zombie for someone else to kill only adding to the zombie epidemic.  

Secondly, how exactly would you kill a zombie with BJJ?  They are already dead so a choke would be pointless.  I suppose breaking their arms and legs would render them to be a useless nonthreatening zombie, but that is a lot of risk and effort for minimal reward.

Thirdly, and dare I say most importantly, who would want to grapple a zombie?  Forget the bite risk, you think it is bad to grapple that stinky kid who never showers and doesn't wash his gi?... What do you think it would be like to grapple THIS guy:

That is just a drippy stinking mess I wouldn't want to touch with a 10 foot pole.

Braaaaaaaaaaains.....

When you are paranoid about ringworm...

everything looks like ringworm!

There seems to be a small outbreak of ringworm, and I am now ultra paranoid that I too will become one of the infected!

When I woke up this morning and stumbled into my bathroom I had a bright red circle on my chest.  My initial reaction was panic, but upon closer inspection, I had slept on my necklace charm... It is a tiny handcuff, and it left a red ring impression on the middle of my chest.

So, thankfully I do not have a big red ring of disease on my chest... and have thus far remained uninfected.

  ... In my mind, I am pretended ringworm is really a zombie outbreak, and I'm avoiding it like my life depends on it... and I am sorry my friends, if you become infected and approach my door step, I will put my zombie gun to good use.  ... not really, but I am pretty bored, and I like zombies.  =D