Wednesday, September 9, 2009

9/09/09 - Date Win

So - For the past week or two I have been driving myself insane. I've been overly conscious of what people think of me. Normally I don’t give two craps what people think of me, so it’s been an interesting week. And I don’t mean that I don’t care what people think.. I do care how people think, and feel… I just don’t tend to care if people judge me. I mean, I’m not living my life for anyone but God and my family… so if Joe-shmoe thinks my hair is offensive, or that my boots are weird… I don’t care. But all last week, I was hyper aware of everything… My nail polish…Should I take it off?... Should I not wear these flip flops because they have pink on them? … What will people think if I wear this? …. I was driving myself… and poor Allie insane. Allie in her infinite wisdom said she thought it was because lately I have been working losing weight, and I’ve been hyper aware of my body and what it looks like… I for the first time in my life I really truly care what I look like to myself, I was worrying about what everyone else was thinking too…. And I so don’t have to.

On my way to a meeting that I was stressing about, I called Allie. She told me to pray about it after we got off the phone.. so I did. And I am already feeling better about it. Granted, it could just be that all the things that were stressing me out are over… lol… but I do have to do something Friday that was really causing my brain to malfunction, and I am not worried about it anymore… at all.

So, all that is good and nice, but the weird thing was… This morning Youtube had a suggested video for me… and it seems kind of random as I do not listen to or watch other videos like it on Youtube.

My Suggested Video:(It's the song... not the video.. lol)

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