Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Off

Pardon me, I am going to mope tonight.

Feeling this way is really out of character for me.  I am generally a happy person, and I am happy about who I am... but right now, I am totally and completely doubting my game... and since Jiujitsu is such a major portion of my life, it is throwing me completely out of whack.

I love Jiujitsu.  Love it.  Hands down, no questions asked one of my favorite things, ever.

But lately, I have been completely and totally doubting my game.  I feel off every single time I grapple... like I am doing everything wrong, or doing the wrong things.  I used to leave class feeling great, not so much about the way I grappled, but because I grappled.  Now I leave class almost sad.

It's not like I feel like I am sucking or that I am getting dominated.  I just feel ... off.

I wish I could put my finger on what it is exactly that is putting me in this funk, and get over it.

I want to go back to feeling good after class.... even if I got tapped 20 times every grapple, I would leave class happy.  That feeling is the reason I fell in love with Jiujitsu, and I miss it.

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