The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good:

Today I pretty much got to Jits all day.  I went to Fabio's afternoon class in Lakeland, and his evening class in Brandon.  I have been out to the Brandon school once before.  It was great to go back... it is nice to roll with people I don't normally get to roll with in an environment where I feel safe.  My friend Jen has to miss every other Friday due to her new work schedule, so she wants to start going out there on Thursday nights to make up for her missed class.  I went with her tonight because she was a little nervous to go alone, but I might just go with her every time.  I had a lot of fun. ... plus, I am not one to turn down a chance to grapple! =)

The Bad:

I had to talk to my instructor about an issue I am having with another student.  I *really* hate to do that.  I have had to do it once before, but for an entirely different reason.  This time it was just generally that I did not know how to handle something myself, which could have resulted in me becoming injured... and that is just one thing that is not okay..  I really didn't know how to handle the situation, so I had to ask what I should do.. and in doing so, I feel like I sailed someone down the river...  But I keep telling myself if they weren't doing it in the first place, I wouldn't have to have sold them down the river.  Either way, it just sucks.

The Ugly:

I hurt someone today.  =(  I am normally super duper careful about people's joints, and if I bonk someone mid grapple with a knee or an elbow, I always make sure to say sorry.  Today, I was grappling someone who tried to take my back from guard, but ended up kind of falling onto his back and had me in a weird side guard.  He still had his legs crossed, so I trianlged my legs around his ankles and pushed down.  I have had that done to me before.. I know it hurts.  But he didn't let go...which is what I wanted him to do, or tap... so I pushed harder, and his ankle popped.  I probably would have just let it go except for the fact that he is kind of a big guy, and he had just been trying to muscle a neck crank.  Which is fine...  I don't want people going easy on me because I am a girl, but at the same time, if you are going to put it on me, I am not going to back out of my submissions because you are too stubborn to tap... or just let go, which is all I wanted in the first place.  ... but I feel bad!  I do NOT want to hurt my team mates.  Ben says all the time to just tap if someone gets you in something.  Be a courteous grappler.  If someone gets you, acknowledge it.... don't challenge someone to break your arm... most people will let go, but if you get in the habit of making people let go of submissions because they don't want to be a jerk and hurt you, it is really going to suck for you when you get someone who won't.  Ben and Fabio both said I did the right thing, but I feel bad...  I don't want to be that guy... I don't want to be the reason someone gets put out grappling for a week or two so they can recover.... I HATE when that happens to me.... and I really hate that I may have done that to someone else.  It bums me out.