I promise I will shut up after this....

I know what you are thinking.... Why couldn't she have broken her fingers instead of her toe.

Today was my last class before NAGA, so I can't possibly have anything to say about Jiujitsu again until after this weekend.

I noticed two things today while grappling.  I went with a male white belt today who is roughly my size, and I decided to just try and stay calm, breath, and not let him pass my guard.  I, for the most part, succeeded, and I was kind of shocked at how much I noticed when I tried not to get grappling tunnel vision.  I did a little bit of sitting and waiting to see what he would try next and just reacting to what he did instead of working my own agenda.  I still broke a sweat, and could feel the sweat running down my face while we were grappling, and normally I don't notice how sweaty I am until I am back on the wall, but I wasn't winded at all.  I don't know that I could manage that same calmness at NAGA, but I am going to try.  I could probably grapple all day if I kept that same calm.

I got to grapple Paul again.  I tried to do the same stay calm thing, but it didn't work out for me as much with him.  lol - However, I noticed myself doing something I do a LOT with higher belts...  I will start to go for something, and give up even before I get my hand on gi because I know I won't be able to do whatever it was I thought I should try.  I just get into defensive mode.  Which really is the opposite of what I should be doing, especially when I know someone isn't actually going to hurt me.  I should try, and fail.  I will learn that way.   Ben has told me about 100 times to work what I suck at when I roll with someone who has less training, but work what I am good at when I go with someone with more training.  I also noticed what appears to be mercy while Paul and I were grappling.  lol (I mean, outside the OBVIOUS mercy he shows on the feeble little white belt that is myself.)  I could feel him shift his weight at the last second while I was bracing for impact.  He is big, and super tight, so he could seriously crush me without thinking, but he doesn't... And I really do appreciate that.  =)  I assume it is one of two things....one being that it takes a great deal of effort to go against his natural intuition, or he can just feel my feebleness and instinctively does not crush me.... but either way thanks Mr. Bruiser, sir, for not breaking my ribs.  =)  And, if I did not know any better, I would swear he purposefully messes my up my hair.  It gets more messed up in 5 minutes with Paul, then it does over the span of several grapples.


And now, I have only waiting to do until NAGA!  Wooohooo!!  (Though, really I would love to roll some more before I go. hehe)

And again, sorry for my epic blabbiness... Though, really, if you choose to read all my nonsensical nonsense, then you only have yourself to blame!  hehehe   =)