Thursday, April 1, 2010

I tried to grapple a banana.

Why is that statement always followed by "Are you drunk?"

No, I am not drunk.  I really tried to grapple a banana.  A man in a banana suit I should say.

I went to the 100 Monkeys show tonight, and afterward, I decided to stand in line with all the crazy Twilight Moms and Grandmas to meet the band... Though, my real objective was to try and convince them to let me grapple Marty, the Banana.

Unfortunately, I was turned down.  I was not permitted to grapple Marty, the Banana.  He said he bruises easily.  I was however, offered the chance to take Marty home with me for the very fair price of 15 dollars.  LOL  I was the one turning down the suggestion at that point.

The conversation went something like this....

"Hi, I don't really have anything for you to sign, I was just wondering if I could grapple the banana."

*confused looks all around*

"Wait.... What?!"

"I do Brazilian Jiujitsu... and I really want to grapple the banana."

"You wanna do what to Marty's Banana?!"

"No, no, not HIS banana.  THE banana!  I want to grapple THE banana!"

"I am disturbed by this...."

"No!  I bruise easily!"

"You can't grapple him, but you can sleep with him for 15 dollars."

"Hmm... Can I grapple him after?"

"You can do whatever you want to him after you pay me... I am only interested in the money."

I should have paid him the 15 dollars and jumped guard.


I had a blast tonight!  The Monkeys were fantastic, and I discovered a new band... Lions after Dark.  I liked them a lot.


  1. hahahaha! awesome totally should have squeezed the banana out of the skin!

  2. Are you sure you didn't take shots of Patron? On the other hand, its probably a good thing Banana refused to grapple..imagine being submitted by a banana! how would you tell that story?

  3. That is what I said to Allie! I was thinking... there is a slim chance this banana knows Jiujitsu... lol I can't get owned by a banana!