My ovaries don't like Jiu-jitsu

This will not be the first hormone fueled BJJ rant on this blog, and for that I am sorry, but alas... I am who I am, therefor I blog about it.

Every so often my hormones and I have a a major disagreement.  My hormones want me to act out irrationally, cry, and generally be a party pooper, and I want to continue fooling people into believing that I am a sane rational adult.... It is a very fine line to walk, and sadly, I walk it like a sloppy drunk every once in a while.

On top of that, the general time in which my hormones rally in numbers and threaten collapse in on me like a dying star, my anemia gets worse.  I get more tired, and crabby than normal... and you know hormones.. anemia.. dying star...  not a great combination.  

Most of the time Jiu-jitsu helps me to work out my frustrations, thus I am able to continue life without making the 11:00 news.  

Sometimes however, the stars align just right... anemia, epic hormones, and jiu-jitsu frustrations happen all at the same time.

This is one of those unfortunate times.

There is a competition coming up soon, and when we have competitions nearing, Fabio has us work takedowns more than normal.  I've said it before, and I will say it again, I suck at a takedowns.  Monday night he had us work one I just could not do.  The more I tried the less it worked, and I tried until I got to the point where tears were becoming a possibility.  So, I stopped.  I've cried twice in class, and I there is pretty much nothing I hate more than crying in my gi in a room full of men.

Crisis avoided.

Tuesday, I was not as lucky.

One of my teammates is a 238 pound professional MMA fighter.  I grappled him for the first time Tuesday.  No gi.  He was also in class post-massage, so he was literally oiled up and completely slippery.  I could not have held on to his elbow if my life depended on it... and thanks to my hormones, and frustration I was grappling like an epic spaz who's life did actually depend on the outcome of that grapple.

I managed to defend myself the duration of the grapple, but generally felt completely disgusted with my lack of ability to do anything other than lay on the mat in the fetal position praying for death.

Logically, my brain tells me that I am not expected to be able to fight off and subdue a 238 pound professional fighter covered in baby oil, but my hormones tell me I should slump myself in to a ball of self hatred in the corner and weep whilst trying to hide my entire body inside my gi top.

My hormones won.

Which of course resulted in more self loathing for crying at the gym, and... you see where I am going with this.. Vicious cycle my grappling hating ovaries forces me to go through whenever they rally together and find the strength to over power the logical side of my brain.

(Which less face it, isn't that hard to do.)

I did not have class today though, so I was able to give my mind, hormones and body the rest they very much needed.

Before next class I am going to give my brain an epic end of the world movie speech.  Perhaps I will watch Lord of The Rings for some epic speech ideas.  Though, if I am honest with myself I'll probably just cry into my bag of Doritos at the opening hobbit scene in this sad state of emotional distress.

Maybe I will just kick myself in the face, and yell "This is Sparta!"

This.  Exactly this.

Are you an IBJJF registered athlete?

What is the deal with that?

It looks to me that aside from black and brown belts it is an optional thing, but they make things more difficult for unregistered athletes.

I'm sure it will make things easier for them to keep track of individual's rank and competition record to prevent sandbagging and what not, but to me it just seems like another pointless way to take our money.  Maybe I am just being grouchy about it, but I don't see the point.  Not counting food and travel expenses, it costs 100 dollars to compete... and now I have to pay an additional 30 dollars annually?  Lame.

Or am I missing the point?

Is there some other reason for this? I mean, I don't need a card to tell me how good or bad I am at Jiu-jitsu.  I can see that for myself every time I get on the mat.


If you have any input on the matter I'd be happy to hear it....  otherwise I am just going to go administer some Dorito & Midol therapy and stop blogging while irritated.  lol

Still Undecided.

I talked to Fabio last night about what to do... and pretty much anyone else who would listen.

I still don't know what I am going to do.... I would make a pro and con list, but I know the pro list will consist of one item, and one item alone.  Beast mode!  

After last night though, I have a few other things to factor in.  

We have a LOT of girls fighting who are planning to go to the Miami Open and if I fight middle weight we will all be in different divisions.  Which really is making me consider middle weight more seriously.  

If we all go, we will have a female in every adult white belt division, as well as two in masters, super feather, and medium heavy.  ...This is if I go middle weight.  Other wise we will have two lights, and no middles.  

Obviously, I'm not worried about having to fight my teammate... but in different divisions we have potential to being home two golds instead of a gold and silver... Clearly, a better scenario for the team.  I would however, be perfectly happy to flip for gold/silver with any of my teammates. 

The other bit of information that is making me consider middle weight is I checked my ovulation app, and the week of the Miami open, is the week I am the most bloated as well as it being the stretch of time I am in most need of Dorito therapy.  That won't stop be from making light weight, it will just make it all the worse for the people unfortunate enough to be around me that week.

I know if I decide to cut my stubborn determined nature will be sure I make light weight... but it seems the more and more I think about it, the less sense it makes to cut. 

Perhaps bulking up a bit is the better option here.  ... but but but.... beast mode?  *sad face*  

I need to make a solid decision by the weekend.  I am doing my self no favors by waiting to decide.  

In other news, after class last night Yeti showed me the most ridiculous side control escape to head and arm choke thing ever.  It made me do a evil little cackle.

I totaled my car.

It was my first accident, and totally my fault.  

Thankfully though, no one was injured, and if the accident had happened two seconds later, I would have been t-boned on the driver's side.  The side where my three year old daughter sits.. and the car that hit us was an SUV going 45.  It could have been a million times worse, so I am just abundantly thankfully that no one got hurt.

My car is just a car.  Zaile is irreplaceable.