I am comfortable with almost everyone in the gym, but I felt very conspicuous. If I gave more of a crap it might have bothered me, and it probably would have bothered me if I didn't know everyone there. That part was fine, but as we started warm ups, I started eye balling the clock... getting nervous. Who am I going to drill with? Looking around the room I started crossing off the acceptable training partners list...
Too big....
Too spazzy...
Too much resistance offer-er...
Guy who is clearly uncomfortable when I pause too long in certain positions while trying to figure things out...
Sweaty guy...
Nervous kid...
Never washes his gi...
I can and will drill with anyone willing to drill with me, but I am talking about ideal partners here.
Just when I was resigning myself to sweaty guy or nervous kid two of the other girls walked in. Relief!
Mad props to all of you girls who go it alone. Being a woman in BJJ is hard, I can't imaging being the only one in the room ALL the time.
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| Easier said then done sometimes, I know. |
In other news, I have slight fluid buildup in my ear. Going to have to drain it... I refuse to be the girl with cauliflower ear.
Edit: There seems to be slight confusion about this post, so I will clarify....
I fiercely love my school and all of my teammates. Stinky, resistant or nervous. They may not always be the ideal person for me to drill with, but I am always more than happy to do it. =) .... but given the choice, I will always choose a female of my relative size to drill with.
And for the record, if anyone is interested in following me around and attending all classes I do, my ideal training partner is a 5'9 145 pound female black belt with impeccable hygiene and nerves of steel.
And on the off chance no one volunteers I am more than happy to roll and drill with anyone who will have me.
=(1/3)x^3
ReplyDeleteWhen everyone's truly playing from the same sheet of music, the differences fall away.
You should come out to our school and train. We go slow and use all technique because we train in self-defense Jiu-Jitsu not tournament style. I think you would enjoy it.
ReplyDelete@ Anon #1 = I agree, totally. However no amount of same page will make a 250 pound man an ideal training partner. =) I was mostly joking and am happy to train with anyone who is willing to train with me... and I've never had a person refuse when asked.
ReplyDelete@ Anon #2 Very kind of you to offer, however, I love my school and would never leave unless I was forced out. Further, I love to compete. =)
And just so I am clear, I fiercely love my school and all of my teammates. Stinky, resistant or nervous. They may not always be the ideal person for me to drill with, but I am always more than happy to do it. =) .... but given the choice, I will always choose a female of my relative skill to drill with.
And for the record, if anyone is interested in following me around and attending all classes I do, my ideal training partner is a 5'8 145 pound female black belt with impeccable hygiene and nerves of steel.
And on the off chance no one volunteers I am happy to roll and drill with anyone else.
Girl, I hear you. I am kind of sad that the longer I train (over the years, not "in one night") I find that I am getting pickier and pickier about who I'd "prefer" to drill with. Like you, I will happily drill with anybody, any size, even the stinky guy. But I would be happier to drill with someone good enough to show me where I go wrong, but still close enough to my level that I don't feel like I'm boring them and wasting their time. Someone smaller who can empathize with the difficulty of some of the techniques. Someone very fresh and clean, not recently ill, not drippy with sweat or other (!?!?) fluids. Someone friendly who will encourage me and motivate me but not want to blab through the whole class. I guess with added experience we have memories perhaps of the less-than-ideal class and we always seek to recreate the more-ideal classes. :)
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. It can be uncomfortable picking a drilling partner. I find the other women are usually more "in tune" with my drilling style. And I agree that perhaps some people are more "uncomfortable" in a slow moving drill than in a fast-paced roll. It's the lingering, as you mentioned. The other night I was drilling with a guy who was trying to figure out a move. He was in North-South and fishing underneath my arm and asked the instructor, "Should I be grabbing anything here?" because he wasn't sure if he needed a grip for the move to work. However, as he said it, his hand was right in the chestal vicinity. It was one of those awkward moments.... (He didn't mean it in that way, but you know, those BJJ double entendres, it's hard to escape them sometimes)
ReplyDeleteReading the post and comments really cracked me up, you sound like Goldilocks :) As I read your list I wonder which one I fall into. I would like to put myself in the "attractive male with perfect technique and never sweats" category. Unfortunantly given that I usually stay for a second or even third class I probably fall somewhere closer to the "sweaty guy / stinky guy" category :(
ReplyDeleteBJJJudo - Hahhaha! Goldilocks! =) Thankfully it has yet to happen to me, but there could possibly be a 'Too Dreamy' category. I don't think I could comfortably crawl all over a man I was attracted to... save my husband anyway. hahaha!
ReplyDeleteStephanie, not saying you should leave your school. By all means continue to train there and grow. That's great that you found a place you like so much. I was just suggesting to check us out. No strings attached.
ReplyDeleteWell, in that case, I may take you up on your offer. I am never one to turn down Jiu-jitsu! hehe - I just don't know who are you, or where you train, Anonymous! =)
ReplyDeleteI train at Gracie Philadelphia. Here's our web site: http://www.graciephila.com. My name is Hugo and you can find me there at the Saturday class at 12PM.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever find my self in that area, you can count on a visit! =)
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I was the only girl in my gym for several years, but I had a steady male training partner I could typically rely on. I think it is especially difficult when you are training to compete because you never roll with anyone your own size. To a certain extent, it can be good to constantly fight someone bigger and better than you, but that person also has to let you practice being dominant. Otherwise you can get used to being on bottom and forget how to fight from the top. Good luck with your tournament training!
ReplyDelete