Tonight, I rolled with someone and afterward felt really good about the roll. Not that I did anything to the guy... I think I got submitted even, but I still felt good about the roll. I felt like I moved well, and did correct things.
Another blue belt who is of around the same skill level, but totally different game.
That grapple I felt clumsy, slow and generally retarded. I don't know why, but it was just horrible. And it's not like the guy was going hard on me.. quite the opposite. He was nice, and helpful and went the pace I was going. ... but holy lord of light, I felt like I grappled like a moron.
Lucky for me, it was my last grapple of the night. No time to sneak in any possible redemption... and knowing myself as well as I do, I know I am going to dwell on it all night.