What do you look like when you grapple?

I am tall, and I have super gangly arms and legs.  This really doesn't translate into graceful grappling.

While grappling, I've been called, lengthy, leggy, wasp-y, and noodle-y.  I've been told grappling me is like grappling an octopus, and I've had "Release the Kraken!" screamed in my face more then once when I pull guard. 

All of that sounds awesome, right.  Except maybe noodly.  Which is sadly probably the most accurate of the aforementioned adjectives.  

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!

This is what you think... but really, I am more like this:

And wasps?! 

I wanna be a wasp!  

I'm not.  

A non-threatening, bowl of noodles?... maybe.

But, low and behold, I came across a picture on the internet yesterday that I am fairly certain captures what I look like perfectly when I grapple. 

Brace yourselves.

I am a drunk and/or drowning flamingo.  

Sad times... sad times indeed.

I really just wish I was a wasp though.

Miami Open Results

I competed in the 2012 Miami Open this weekend, and much like last year I had a great time.  However, this year I took home gold instead of bronze... But more importantly, I got to see a lot of the other female grapplers in Florida.  SO many talented BJJ girls in Florida! It makes me happy.

I am also happy with my performance.  I set goals for myself and accomplished every single one.

I wanted to try a take down... I did, and I succeeded.  I didn't fall down like the last time I tried to take someone down.  hahaha  Yay for that!

And as I have mentioned before my biggest general failing in jiu-jitsu is that I don't go for and let go of submissions too easily.  So, I set out to be aggressive with my attacks and finish my submissions.  And I did exactly that.  It was a nice bonus that I finished my match with an armbar, because for the longest time I was horrible at armbars in general.  Progress!

The other lady in my division came all the way from California with her husband just to compete and she was a fantastic sport.  I love meeting other grappling moms especially when they are really friendly like she was.  Mad props to her.

Allie also competed  and not surprisingly won her division as well.  Allie is a tiny little blonde monster that will ruin your day... and she proves it over and over in competitions.

The ONLY regret I have is not being able to stay for absolute, but it was out of my control... so it is what it is!  Next time for sure!

 Gold medals for the McClish girls! Bear traps be trappin!

This was the woman in my division.  Wonderful person! 

FloridaFighter.com got some pretty cool shots of my armbar:

 

Flesh eating chicken!

I've mentioned before that I have several chickens.  I love fresh eggs, and from time to time, I enjoy a fresh chicken.  Yes, I do it all myself.  No, I don't know how I can be so heartless and actually kill the food I eat, so don't ask.  =)

Today my chickens (sort of) exacted their revenge.

Every morning when I feed my chickens, they run up to me, and stand very impatiently around me waiting for me to feed them.  Some mornings, they peck at my toe nails, I assume, because they think they are something yummy to eat.  They are not, and it kind of tickles.

Last night, I went for a run, and got a super fancy blister.  It was one of those really great ones, that you get AND pop on the same run, so it burns with the fire of a thousand suns.

Kind of like this

This is not my busted foot.  I repeat NOT my foot.  

(Also, I would advise against using the Google image search to look for pictures of blisters.  I almost threw up.)

The blister it self is probably around a seven on this scale.

(I shamelessly stole this image from http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.)

When I got home, I screamed and flailed like a child while I washed it, an then left it uncovered so it would dry out a little, and I could cut away the tremendously sensitive skin that was hanging off the back of my foot.  I wanted to avoid being one of those people who grapple with little pieces of skin hanging off their body.  Yum.

I forgot about the blister when I went outside this morning, and it apparently looked tasty.

I can not even begin to explain to you the pain of a rooster pecking me DIRECTLY in the open blister, then trying to rip the piece of skin off my foot.

If you would again view the chart above the pain was very much too serious for numbers.

This is Marcellus Wallace, the guilty rooster.  He is my favorite chicken, and will never be on the menu... even if he continues to try and eat me while I am still alive.

He is my super awesome dive bombing, razor sharp beak having, does not look like a bitch, top of the pecking order, rooster.  And now I can add flesh eating to his list of accomplishments. Fear him.  Seriously, fear him.  It really hurt when he pecked me in the blister.  I screamed. Loud.

Miami Open 2.0

The Miami Open is in a couple of weeks.  Getting very excited.  

I'm on weight, and feel prepared.  Huge contrast to the last Open.  I had no idea I was going to be competing in the blue belt division until a week before hand.  I was terrified, and I went to Miami prepared for defeat, and not surprisingly, was defeated.  That will not be the case this time.

I still feel like a baby blue belt, as I've only been wearing it for a year now, but I feel ready to compete this time.

I've been training consistently, so I know am a better grappler than I was last year but I feel like I've made some major strides in the past couple of months.  I owe a lot of that to my teammates... bless them and their seemingly infinite patients with me and my questions and requests for post class grappling.  You guys are the best!

I have about two weeks of training left.  My goal for the next two weeks is to grapple every last grapple as though I am competing... focus, push myself, commit to every thing I attempt, and most importantly, follow the guidelines for blue belt.  Which means, no foot locks or knee bars, and thanks to my fellow Jew on the mat, I actually managed a few successful foot locks and knee bars in the past couple of months.  I will have to save those for my next no gi competition.  =)  

                                                              

   

You too can grapple.

I have had a realization.

No one, and I mean no one, ever in the history of the world or in the endless future of this planet will anyone else be as awful at Brazilian Jiu-jitsu as I was on my first day.

I'm not dogging myself either.  I am just being honest, and I am okay with my very extremely humble beginnings.

I think it is a testament to my instructors, teammates, and even to my own determination and dedication that I have come this far.

I know I have a tendency to exaggerate, but for the sake of the point I am making, I am going to speak in facts...  And yes, I was really this bad when I started.

When I started I was an out of shape, over weight mom, nerdy mom.  Other than some running in high school, I had zero athletic background.  None.  And what is worse, I really believed that as a girl, being weak and nonathletic was not only okay, but the right way to be.

I very clearly remember my first day.  I was horrible at everything.  Everything.  It took me three months to get a forward roll right, and I mean from sitting, not standing.  I just couldn't do it.  My instructor at the time Mario, bless him and his infinite patience, had to help me.. and by help, I mean basically pull my legs over my head for me, for weeks until my body could figure out which muscles I was supposed to use to get my ass over my head while going forward.   Once I could do it myself, I went sideways for a looong time.  In his also infinite wisdom he didn't even bother asking me to try rolling backward until I had been going for several weeks.  I eventually did get it right though...forward and, believe it or not, backward.

I barely, and I mean BARELY made it through warm ups.  I had to stop and walk twice while we jogged what was maaaaybe a quarter mile in laps around the mat.  Mario jogged alongside me to encourage me, and I remember being absolutely FLOORED that he could not only do it, but he was talking to me totally unwinded - unphased at what I was truly struggling to do.

I couldn't hip out either.  I couldn't even wrap my head around what the heck he was asking my body to do. He showed me about seventeen times, and explained over and over that I was supposed to basically move my butt up to where my head was by way putting my foot near my butt and pushing my body up.  Nope.  Does not compute.  I ended up doing an extremely awkward, embarassing backward inchworm maneuver on my back across the mat and back.

Then it was time to grapple.

"Attack me."

Nope.

I remember thinking, "How am I supposed to do that?" I did bumble through three grapples that day, that were very much a blur.  People were putting their bodies on me, sweat happened, my head went in crotches, arm pits were near my face.  I was being touched.  A lot.  And at the time I was very much a person who required person space.

I did not want people even to be inside my orange circle, but everyone was all up in my red circle like they belonged there.  It was horrifying.

The morning after my first class, it hurt to get out from under my blanket.  Not because I was hurt, but because I was so out of shape, and my muscles were so accustomed to not being used that a single class of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu nearly crippled my upper body.  (Okay, maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but it did hurt to move my blanket.)

But against the odds I loved it.

And I kept going.  And I kept trying.  And I kept getting frustrated.  And I kept crying when I got home.  But, I kept going.  And slowly, I got better.  I still get frustrated.  I still cry sometimes.  But I still go.  I still try.  I still love it.  And I am still getting better... but happily I am a far cry from where I started.

Now that I help Allie with the women's class I see a lot of female beginners, and that is what made me realize just how terribly uncoordinated and out of shape I was when I started.  The first few times I saw people do forward rolls on their first try, I was kind of shocked, but now I see that being able to do that is something most normal people can do on their first try.  lol

I grapple almost all the girls on their first day, and am still shocked at how well some of them do on their first day in comparison to my first day, which for the longest time, I assumed was normal.

It just makes me realize all the more, that.. Yes... everyone can do this.  No matter how much you think you don't have the ability, or that it isn't something you could do... You can.  Trust me, you can.  You just have to try, and keep on trying.

I don't think I am great, or even above average... at best I am an average blue belt, but the fact that I came from where I was to being an average grappler in a little less than two and a half years gives me a sense of pride.  With the help of some really great coaches and amazing teammates, I have come pretty far.

It makes me really happy.

Results of the first Women's Team competition!

About a year ago we started the women's team at Fabio Novaes BJJ.

It was a little rocky at first, and it took several months to get a group of regular girls coming to train.  Not  counting me and Allie we have eight dedicated girls who love training, and about 4 or 5 others who come intermittently and of course some of the girls who train at Fabio's with us that help out with the women's class too.  It's a really great group of girls and I absolutely love them all.

Madison, Me, Rowan, Victoria, Allie and Ashley!

This weekend four of them donned their gis and competed for the first time. .. and kicked ass!

Victoria braiding Rowan's hair.

Madison and Rowan both competed in this kids division, and Victoria and Ashley in the adult female division.

Rowan, who has been training with us the longest, at just under a year, was accidentally put into the intermediate division, which is 2-5 years.  In spite of that, she did EXTREMELY well.  And I am super proud of her!

Madison is the only one of the girls who has competed before.  Last time she competed she broke her elbow her first grapple in, and had to take couple of months off.  Anxious to get back at it, she competed again this weekend.

She took second place in no-gi.  She lost her match on points, but grappled very well.  She won first in gi!  She competed again a juvenile purple belt.  I've never heard of that before, but apparently at this school kids work from white to black as kids/teens then at sixteen start at blue belts.  It's weird and seems very McDojo-y to me, but never the less, Madison fought a girl in a purple belt, took her down, and submitted her in under two minutes.  Very cool.

Victoria grappled like a beast!  She did us all proud taking home bronze in no gi!  She had two five man divisions which is HUGE as far as women go.  It makes me really happy to see more and more women competing.  At my first competition three years ago, there were 5 women total.  Huge leaps in women's BJJ in Florida! So awesome!

Ashley our newest member grappling for only three months took home silver in gi and no gi!  Woohoo!  She had to fight a girl in no gi with a significant weight advantage, but moved really well considering.  She was up on points when she got caught in an armbar.  Go Ashley!

So completely proud of everyone!! 

At Dawn We Ride!

Tomorrow morning four ladies from our women's class are going to compete for the first time!!  I am so nervous and excited for them!  I know I am biased, but I think they will all do well.  Most of them have been training for 3-6 months.  So, they are jumping into the competition scene pretty early, but I think it will benefit their grappling, and their confidence.  So proud of them!!

Look out NAGA.  This hot mess is coming after your ladies.