Mostly, I am happy that I am beginning more and more to feel like myself on the mat, and less like a blurry out of focus shadow of my former self.
This is me when I grapple... but less colorful and fun to look at.
There is a guy who has a gi that is a really pretty shade of blue. It almost looks like a faded dark purple, and sitting next to him on the wall, I told him how much I liked the color. Turns out, it is just a normal blue gi that he washed with his red one. Well, after class he brought his red gi in from the car and let me borrow it to wash with my gi. I thought it was a totally nice gesture, and very unexpected. My gis are currently in the wash with his.
I am kind of excited to see what it does to my very loved and slightly faded Femon gi too!
I am finally getting over my desire to always been the defensive player. Every single grapple last night I went after, (in what I hope was not a tool-ish way) and finally started to go for submissions on a particular person who is less than a good sport. Normally, I avoid even going for submissions because of that person's general poor sportsmanship. If getting submitted gets someones undies in a bunch, I don't do it. Though, I realize more and more that is their issue not mine... And happily, I went for submissions with that person, and found myself pretty successful. *Toots own horn*
I would like to be have the horns AND halo though. =)
I realized my modified BJJ anniversary is coming up! I started August 9th 2009, but with my hiatus the date my actual training adds up to a year is next month!
And lastly, I got paired up with a huge white belt man that I'd never grappled before, and I was afraid. But it ended up being a really fun grapple! He was very, very clearly stronger and larger than I was, but he never just smashed me flat, or muscled my arms off. He did give me a few pity escapes because it was obvious no matter what I did, there was no way my feebleness was escaping. And happily he moved without flailing, and if I had to pick a single word to describe the grapple, I would go with courteous. He was as courteous as you could be and still actually grapple. I was so happy afterward I thanked him, and told him that I was a little scared of him before we'd grappled because guys his size tend to me really smashy, but that our grapple ended up being awesome and a lot of fun. He told me he just thinks about Wizzy when he grapples other women, and does what he would want the guys to do with her. So, take heart spastic white belts everywhere. There is hope! You don't actually have to smash your female partners until their sternums pop.