I generally prefer defense to offence, and have always been more of a sweeper than a submitter. Even though I realize submitting people is not rude, I always feel like a jerk when I do it. It is probably one of my biggest downfalls as I don’t often work them, so my submissions are always the crappiest part of my game.
Anyway, tonight when I was grappling this teenage boy I was working positions and just general technique since I am rusty. He is smaller than I am and somewhat newish to Jiu-jitsu, so if I forget a step, or do something wrong I can recover and it doesn’t turn into an epic fail on my part. However, while we were grappling I started to go for a triangle, and he said something to the effect of “oh no!” to himself, not to me or anything, it was just he realized he made a mistake and was verbally bummed about it. So, I let it go. And he FLEW around to side control, and instantly went for an arm bar, and instead of trying to defend it, I figured I would just roll out of it and come around to side control…. But no. The kid totally blocked my roll out attempt, and instead of trying to be a jerk and muscle out of it, I just tapped.
I will however give total credit to the kid for his armbar. It was a nice armbar and he legitimately stopped me from rolling out of it. However, my niceness is what got me into the situation in the first place! I need to knock that crap off. I’ve always had the issue of not wanting to submit people. I know it’s wrong, and it is literally what people go there for, but sill. I feel bad when I do it, and tonight I got myself submitted for failing to submit someone when I should have. I’m not only denying myself practice, but I am denying my training partners the same thing. No one benefits when I let go of submissions.
I did it a second time when I grappled someone I had not grappled since I left. I was a little nervous about grappling them, not in a bad way, but more or less wondering how I would stack up due to my lack of training, so I went into it thinking, “Okay Stephanie, go for it.” But the second I realized I could still hold my own against the person, I took my guard down, and ended up in a crappy position. It was annoying because I knew I shouldn’t have been there in the first place and also because I need to just go for it. I’m only training one day a week right now and I need to make the most of every single grapple I am given.
I need to stop being so passive. I need to grapple like I mean it, not like I am their mommy.
I need to watch 300 before I go to class every day. lol