The Humbling River

Pay no mind to the battles you've won
It'll take a lot more than rage and muscle
Open your heart and hands my son
Or you'll never make it over the river.

It'll take a lot more than words and guns
A whole lot more than riches and muscle
The hands of the many must join as one
And together we'll cross the river.

Good luck tomorrow, Team Fabio Novaes BJJ!!

I think I forgot to mention...

I am competing this weekend.

In other, more exciting news one of the ladies from the women's class is also competing!  It is her first competition, and being so excited for her, I've been more focused on getting her ready than myself..  Oops.  lol  I've done this enough times to know what I am getting into, and as much as I love the really hard push in training before a competition I'm sure I will be just fine without it.

Not thinking as much about my own preparation this time around has staved off pretty much any and all nerves I have about myself.  The only thing I've been going back and fourth on, is whether or not to compete.  I don't want my competing to get in the way of being there for Madison. I am sure it won't though.  She will be in the teen division and will be done well before I compete.  

Super excited for her!!

Gooo Madison!!

We miss you already.

 We adopted our dog China.

She was an older dog when we got her, and she was abused and starved regularly.

I had a small baby, she was set her in ways, had a hard life and was part pit bull and I didn't think we could trust her.

We took her in because she so badly needed a good home, but she wasn't with out problems.  She was terrified of men, and had some food aggression because she had been starved on and off her entire life.. but she grew on me pretty quickly, and before I knew it, she became part of the family.

I think because of her hard life, she was so happy to finally be loved she returned our love 10 fold.  She was the happiest dog I've ever known, and acted like a puppy until her hips wouldn't let her jump any more.

When strangers came over, she always positioned herself between the kids and the people she didn't know.  I think she might even love my kids as much as I do.  She would have died to save them in a heart beat.

And until about a year ago when her arthritis started to set in China was my running partner.

She was the first dog I ever really loved.

Tuesday morning when I woke up, China was acting very strange.  Normally every morning China and Vader greet each other by barking and jumping all over each other like idiots.  But that morning China didn't stand up when Vader ran over to her.

When I finally got her on her feet she was very wobbly and weak.  I was hoping she was just having a bad day with her arthritis so I brought her inside, made a bed for her and let her relax, but the longer the day went on the more wobbly she got.  By Wednesday afternoon she could hardly stand or hold her head up, I had to hold it up for her so wouldn't drown when she tried to drink.  As it turns out, she had a stroke.

So, I talked to my good friend who is a vet.  She said she could come to my house and put her to sleep here so I didn't have to drag her out and she could go to sleep in peace at home.

Last night before the kids went to bed they said good bye to her.

I struggled with my decision to put her to sleep up until the very last second.  It wasn't until she was sedated that I realized just how much she had been suffering.  She laid down and looked peaceful for the first time since Tuesday morning, and finally stop struggling to hold her head up.

I burred her in the back yard under the shade of her favorite banana tree.  It looks dead right now, like it does every winter... but every spring it comes back, more bigger and more beautiful then the year before.  She always napped under that tree, and now she will rest there for ever.

I love you China, and I miss you already.

This was our Christmas card a few years ago. 

China's last day with us.  

I think this officially offends me.

"I am too girly for Jiu-jitsu."

This is what about 75% of the women I approach about BJJ say to me when I invite them to come train.

Perhaps I am just getting tired of hearing it, but it is starting to sound like,

"I think you are an enormously manly freak, and I don't want you to sweat on me."

I know they are in no way referring to me, or the rest of the girls who train when they say they are too girly, but it is starting to sound like an accusation of a lack of being girly.

Consider this your personal news flash people.  I am a girly girl, and I also know how to choke you out.

Just because several time I week I don a gi, train hard and sweat my butt off does not mean I am not also a feminine, dress wearing, nail painting, making up loving, shoe collecting woman just like those of you who think you are too girly for BJJ.

It just means that I stand a chance of defending myself or my children if God forbid I ever need to.  It also means that I am stronger and more healthy than I've ever been in my entire life, and because of Jiu-jitsu I am better role model for my own girly daughter.  It also means that I have an excellent outlet for stress.  On top of that, Jiu-jitsu has helped me learn to to love me for who I am, and has shown me that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be.

 Yes, I am a grappler.

Yes, I am a girly girl.

They are not exclusive.  You can be both.

Merry Christmas!!

I hope you all have a safe, and blessed holiday!

Spectator!

Yesterday Team Fabio Novaes rocked the NAGA Pan-Am.  (Really, Naga? The Pan-Ams?)

I made a great contribution to the team by spectating my butt off.  I spectated SO much that I can be spotted spectating in pictures all over Facebook.  

Most of my spectating happened in the Women's corner of the mat.

And here I am spectating WHILE taking pictures!  Clearly, a multi-talented individual.

And my most amazing feat of the day.. Here I spectating while actually standing.  Amazing.

This grapple by the way, was awesome.  The human fanny pack of doom pictured, is Marcelo Cohen.  He trained with Fabio under Marcelo Saporito and now teaches at The Armory in Jupiter, Florida.

Seriously though, I wish I could have made an actual contribution to the team and actually compete, but alas, I could not.  

Team Fabio Novaes didn't need much help though.  They kicked butt up and down the mat all day!  At the last NAGA our team took second in gi and no gi.  We lost first in gi by 80 points.  The team who won first place, by the way, had 86 members.  Our team had 23.  I think we brought home more medals this time.   And yes, I am shamelessly bragging on my team a little, and I think it is allowed.  I sort of love those guys.  

I especially wanted to give a huge congratulations to Erica!  This was her first competition as a blue belt, and she took home silver and bronze!  Awesome job girl!  Love you!! 

Pardon my failure of a picture.  Some annoying official photographer was in my way the entire time.  Didn't he know I needed to get a picture of Erica?  Jerk!  lol  Clearly, more important that his official business. 

 Didi He won second in nogi, and first in gi.  This kid keeps his cool like no one else.  Way to go Didi!! 

 Beast mode Jimmy!  (Though, I think that is his only mode.  Some guys tried to mug him once, but he told them to stop... and they listened.  Seriously.) 

 This is Derrick.  He is currently working his lumber jack look.  He pulls it off quite nicely, don't you think?

Jimmy.  He throws people.  Hard.  

Erica America! 

 This guy, who was very nice, got his day ruined by being bracketed with Jimmy and Derrick.  Two if the biggest scariest most technical blue belts we have.

 Congrats Didi!! 

Congrats Jimmy!

 Tony - He is the one in black and white.  Like Jimmy and Derrick Tony is also, very large, scary and technical.  

 Erica!

 Derrick!

Tony!

Thank you Fabio for all that you do for us!  We love you!! 

The best part of sitting out...

I have found a way to go to class while injured and not grapple.

Go to class in jeans.  Leave my gi at home.

This way, I still get to at least see the technique without running into that part of my brain that says... "You can just drill."  Because when I listen to that part of my brain, I end up grappling... and we all know what happened the last time I was just going to drill.

I've gotten to take advantage of the one perk of being sidelined.  

I get to sit on the wall and watch all of my favorite grapplers, grapple... and of course by watch, I mean stare at intently for several minutes... like a creep. 

We have also had a horde of interesting new people come in.

I always love to watch new people on their first night, so when the new people coming in are bull riders, or a break dancers it can be even more entertaining.

I think one of my favorite quotes someone has said to me about another grappler was a guy named Paddi.  Yes, a guy named Paddi.. with an i.  He'd just grappled the aforementioned bull rider.. and, I do mean this in the literal sense.  He is a man that rides bulls for a living in a rodeo show.  I live in Polk county.  It's not that weird here.

"When he grabs a hold of you, he isn't kidding."

It is also interesting when like last night, the newbie is a grown man the size of Texas with close to no body fat.

I was, for the first time ever, glad I did not have to grapple the new men who come in the door.  The guy was a dinosaur, and I was pretty sure he could have just held me down with one hand, and I'd have been rendered useless for the duration of the grapple.

I did however, very much enjoy watching some of the guys grapple him.  Generally, I am the smaller weaker person of a grapple, (unless it is another woman, as I am kind of giant for a chick.) so I get a lot out of watching our normally bigger guys be the smaller one.  I like watching how they handle the size/strength differential... because no matter how good you are, when you are grappling Texas... size does matter.

And of course I've been able to watch lot of the people I normally creep when I sit out.

Doug for example is a really awesome grappler who I consider to be a male version of me, at least in the body type department.  He is really tall and lean.  Or, "lengthy" as I have been called.

I wasn't kidding when I said he was tall.

I like to watch how he uses his wasp legs powers for good.  Doug also happens to be able to make you cry like the little girl I am when he turtles.  Sometimes, I forget that when he turtles I am about to lose.  Hard.  I enjoy watching other people forget that very same thing.  lol

One more week of my creeper status and I am going to attempt to drill.

And not surprisingly taking time off is helping a lot.  It is still a little painful to sit on my foot in my base, but I can at least do it now, where as before it was too painful to even try.   Progress!