What do you look like when you grapple?

I am tall, and I have super gangly arms and legs.  This really doesn't translate into graceful grappling.

While grappling, I've been called, lengthy, leggy, wasp-y, and noodle-y.  I've been told grappling me is like grappling an octopus, and I've had "Release the Kraken!" screamed in my face more then once when I pull guard. 

All of that sounds awesome, right.  Except maybe noodly.  Which is sadly probably the most accurate of the aforementioned adjectives.  

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!

This is what you think... but really, I am more like this:

And wasps?! 

I wanna be a wasp!  

I'm not.  

A non-threatening, bowl of noodles?... maybe.

But, low and behold, I came across a picture on the internet yesterday that I am fairly certain captures what I look like perfectly when I grapple. 

Brace yourselves.

I am a drunk and/or drowning flamingo.  

Sad times... sad times indeed.

I really just wish I was a wasp though.

Miami Open Results

I competed in the 2012 Miami Open this weekend, and much like last year I had a great time.  However, this year I took home gold instead of bronze... But more importantly, I got to see a lot of the other female grapplers in Florida.  SO many talented BJJ girls in Florida! It makes me happy.

I am also happy with my performance.  I set goals for myself and accomplished every single one.

I wanted to try a take down... I did, and I succeeded.  I didn't fall down like the last time I tried to take someone down.  hahaha  Yay for that!

And as I have mentioned before my biggest general failing in jiu-jitsu is that I don't go for and let go of submissions too easily.  So, I set out to be aggressive with my attacks and finish my submissions.  And I did exactly that.  It was a nice bonus that I finished my match with an armbar, because for the longest time I was horrible at armbars in general.  Progress!

The other lady in my division came all the way from California with her husband just to compete and she was a fantastic sport.  I love meeting other grappling moms especially when they are really friendly like she was.  Mad props to her.

Allie also competed  and not surprisingly won her division as well.  Allie is a tiny little blonde monster that will ruin your day... and she proves it over and over in competitions.

The ONLY regret I have is not being able to stay for absolute, but it was out of my control... so it is what it is!  Next time for sure!

 Gold medals for the McClish girls! Bear traps be trappin!

This was the woman in my division.  Wonderful person! 

FloridaFighter.com got some pretty cool shots of my armbar:

 

Flesh eating chicken!

I've mentioned before that I have several chickens.  I love fresh eggs, and from time to time, I enjoy a fresh chicken.  Yes, I do it all myself.  No, I don't know how I can be so heartless and actually kill the food I eat, so don't ask.  =)

Today my chickens (sort of) exacted their revenge.

Every morning when I feed my chickens, they run up to me, and stand very impatiently around me waiting for me to feed them.  Some mornings, they peck at my toe nails, I assume, because they think they are something yummy to eat.  They are not, and it kind of tickles.

Last night, I went for a run, and got a super fancy blister.  It was one of those really great ones, that you get AND pop on the same run, so it burns with the fire of a thousand suns.

Kind of like this

This is not my busted foot.  I repeat NOT my foot.  

(Also, I would advise against using the Google image search to look for pictures of blisters.  I almost threw up.)

The blister it self is probably around a seven on this scale.

(I shamelessly stole this image from http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.)

When I got home, I screamed and flailed like a child while I washed it, an then left it uncovered so it would dry out a little, and I could cut away the tremendously sensitive skin that was hanging off the back of my foot.  I wanted to avoid being one of those people who grapple with little pieces of skin hanging off their body.  Yum.

I forgot about the blister when I went outside this morning, and it apparently looked tasty.

I can not even begin to explain to you the pain of a rooster pecking me DIRECTLY in the open blister, then trying to rip the piece of skin off my foot.

If you would again view the chart above the pain was very much too serious for numbers.

This is Marcellus Wallace, the guilty rooster.  He is my favorite chicken, and will never be on the menu... even if he continues to try and eat me while I am still alive.

He is my super awesome dive bombing, razor sharp beak having, does not look like a bitch, top of the pecking order, rooster.  And now I can add flesh eating to his list of accomplishments. Fear him.  Seriously, fear him.  It really hurt when he pecked me in the blister.  I screamed. Loud.

Miami Open 2.0

The Miami Open is in a couple of weeks.  Getting very excited.  

I'm on weight, and feel prepared.  Huge contrast to the last Open.  I had no idea I was going to be competing in the blue belt division until a week before hand.  I was terrified, and I went to Miami prepared for defeat, and not surprisingly, was defeated.  That will not be the case this time.

I still feel like a baby blue belt, as I've only been wearing it for a year now, but I feel ready to compete this time.

I've been training consistently, so I know am a better grappler than I was last year but I feel like I've made some major strides in the past couple of months.  I owe a lot of that to my teammates... bless them and their seemingly infinite patients with me and my questions and requests for post class grappling.  You guys are the best!

I have about two weeks of training left.  My goal for the next two weeks is to grapple every last grapple as though I am competing... focus, push myself, commit to every thing I attempt, and most importantly, follow the guidelines for blue belt.  Which means, no foot locks or knee bars, and thanks to my fellow Jew on the mat, I actually managed a few successful foot locks and knee bars in the past couple of months.  I will have to save those for my next no gi competition.  =)